


Hypothetical

by missblackwood



Category: (tagged as WtS too because of chapter #3), Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Welcome to Sanditon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missblackwood/pseuds/missblackwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of conversations/moments not featured in the videos that might have happened or could happen in the future. No specific chronological order. Probably more Lizzie and Darcy-centric, but it will include other characters as well.</p><p>Update #13: Darcy's perspective on that month Lizzie spent in San Francisco shadowing Pemberley Digital (companion to chapter 12 which featured Lizzie's point of view).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Talking it out (Lizzie and Darcy)

The camera captured Lizzie’s blurry smile plastered on her lips right before she turned it off, but the truth is that it did not quite express all the multitude of feelings that were currently swirling in her mind. She felt joy slowly seeping through her veins as the sudden wave of euphoria gradually her faded. It was as if she were in another place, another dimension; that strange sensation of disconnection you feel when you have just barely escaped being run over by a car. In just ten minutes her life had been turned up side down and the reason of that was currently sitting on a stool behind her, waiting for her. 

Had she just really been kissing William Darcy? The man she had hated for so many months? That very same thought of her hating him left a bitter taste in her mouth and she tried to push it away from her mind. Her feelings were now so vastly different. So, so different. Feelings she had struggled to conceal, first from herself and then from the world. She finds it ironic how outspoken she had been when it came to loathing everything related to William Darcy, and then so secretive when her opinion began to morph into something much more pleasant. Much more pleasant? Who was she kidding? She had already admitted to herself some time ago that she had been gradually falling in love with this man, even if it was hopeless (or so she had thought). She could not help it once her eyes had been opened to—

“Lizzie? Are you alright?”, he asked, his voice laced with a vaguely familiar hint of concern.

Vaguely familiar? Oh, yes, episode 84. That fateful Wednesday...

“Yes,” she replied, while turning back to look at him. 

He was still sitting down, contemplating her with his furrowed brow. 

“I mean... Uh, I’m feeling a little strange, I have to admit.”

“Strange? What is the matter? Do you regret—“

“Oh, no, don’t finish whatever you were going to say,” Lizzie interrupted, and she crossed the short distance that existed between them, “Please.” 

Darcy now stood up from his stool, his eyes searching Lizzie’s face, waiting for her to continue.

“I may have committed many mistakes in this past year, but this isn’t some kind of emotional hangover where I regret what’s just happened here. What kind of person would I be?”

“I apologise, I guess was just being...”, and she stifled a smile when she saw him pushing his chin a little to his neck when he whispered “...insecure.” 

“Why?”, Lizzie inquired, softening her expression.

“Well, hum... Uh, I suppose I still cannot quite believe that this is real, that is... That I came here and that the best possible outcome in this situation is the one that became a tangible reality —“

“I’m feeling overwhelmed too, you know.”

“Oh.”

“Like I said, I felt confused. And I didn’t want to create expectations that would only make me feel worse in the end.”

Darcy looked at her, silently urging her to continue. 

“There was a very small voice in me that tried to tell me that maybe not all was lost, and that perhaps one of the reasons why you had done everything you did for Lydia had to do with me, but then I started feeling guilty about it and saying to myself that it was impossible and you hadn’t tried talking to me and I...” and Lizzie stopped, losing track of her train of thought and lowering her head.

“I’m sorry, Lizzie,” his right thumb now caressing her face, while the rest of his fingers held her jaw. “There was a part of me that believed very strongly that you would never return my feelings and I did not want to intrude in your life — especially after what had occured — I did not feel that I had the right to do so.”

“But,” Lizzie’s brain struggling to understand what Darcy was hinting at, “please don’t tell me that you were feeling guilty about everything.” 

His downcast eyes gave her the answer she searched for. 

“Oh, no.”

His hand left her face and he took a deep breath.

“If I hadn’t wanted to be so secretive about what had happened with Gigi, your family would have never gone through the pain you all went through. It was indirectly my fault.”

“You really believe that?” Lizzie paused. “The burden isn’t only yours to carry, you know. Don’t you think I also blame myself? Lydia is my sister. You were trying to protect yours.”

“Is keeping your sister ignorant protecting her? I’ve been learning that it isn’t. Keeping Gigi in the dark put her in danger, and I will always have to live with that.”

Lizzie hesitantly (all of this newly discovered proximity was still so new) brought her hands to cover his face and said, “Don’t torture yourself about that anymore, William.” 

He brought his eyes back to hers, a different gleam on them. It was the first time she had said his first name aloud and both were conscious of that fact. 

“Pride yourself on your ability to learn from your missteps and try to move on. I’m also trying. You mended your relationship with Gigi. She loves you and she cares about you. In her own special way,” Lizzie smiled and in return she received one of his as well, something she was not accustomed to, but that she already treasured very much so.

“You said you are also trying?...”

“Didn’t you watch my videos? They’re full of mistakes and errors of judgement, I believe.”

“Perhaps partially, but I think you need to share that burden with someone who also had an appalling behaviour on several occasions. I recall that very clearly. Too clearly.”

“But I still owe that someone an apology. I won’t feel at peace with myself unless I do that. My prejudice began even before I knew him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you remember? When Lydia first said your name, I immediately classified it as being an awful name. And then I made fun of it. It was before the Gibson wedding.”

“Lizzie, I don’t think that—“

“Please, let me get this out of my chest. I was never really straightforward with this on my videos, but I need to tell you this. William, I am sorry. About all the times I blatantly chose to ignore every thing that contradicted my early-formed opinion of who you were. There are many examples on the videos, but not only there. I prided myself on my judging abilities when I was overlooking part of the picture. Like when you’re going too fast and you’re only left with an impression of what you’re seeing and nothing else. You don’t know how much of an impact your letter had on me. You have no idea.”

“I’ve wondered about what you thought of it.”

“I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but I reread it several times.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Lizzie confirmed, but not able yet to say that she had brought it with her to San Francisco and that just yesterday she had reread it once more.

“Well, then you will also hear something I have to say, Lizzie. I should also apologise for how poorly I behaved on many occasions. Although I am aware of my difficulties in regard to dealing with people, I was also lost in my bubble of self-importance and haughtiness. Fitz and Gigi had already pointed it out to me before, and I believe that Bing must have also thought the same sometimes, but it was your harsh and painfully honest rejection that truly brought me back to my senses. I was hurt and angry at first, I confess, but I eventually channeled those feelings towards better purposes. I was humbled by you. I wasn’t being true to myself and I am very grateful to you, Lizzie Bennet.”

“I don’t know what I should say... I... You leave me without words, William Darcy.”

“Hum... I suppose that that is a good thing?” 

Lizzie laughed.

“I’m not sure, but I think so.”

“Oh, really?” Darcy smirked, raising his left eyebrow.

“Hum hum.”

And as their eyes closed, they found themselves lost in another kiss, taking their time as if they had all of it to spend on each other. Slowly. Steadily. Surely. One of his hands weaving through her auburn hair and the other splayed across her back, bringing them closer. Hers felt his jaw and the nape of his neck. After a few long seconds, a need for more air broke them apart, their foreheads lightly touching.

“You have no idea for how long I had wanted to be able to do this.”

She chuckled.

“I’m not sure if I want to know since when. But do you know what I really want to do right now?

“What?”

“Have some dinner.”

The sound of William Darcy’s laughter thrilled Lizzie.

“What? I thought that you were my Chinese food. I’m pretty sure that by now Charlotte must have already eaten all the honey walnut shrimp.”

“I apologise, milady. I suppose I must go on a quest to find you more honey walnut shrimp.”

“I find that an excellent idea.”

And lacing her arm with his, they left the den to pursue their quest.


	2. Analysing Lizzie Bennet (Charlotte, Lydia; Darcy, Lizzie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Lydia analyse the many moods of Lizzie before the events of episode 98.

_“You want to show the lovely people your internet browser history?”_

_“No.”_

— Episode 97 _  
_

* * *

Someone rings the door bell and Charlotte leaves the den to get their much awaited honey walnut shrimp. She reaches for the doorknob and turns it with the familiarity of someone who has known the quirks of the Bennet house for a long time.

“Oh.”

“Darcy.”

“Good evening, Charlotte.”

“I hope you have a very good reason for not giving signs of life for three days. Do you have a flair for the dramatic too?”

Darcy scratched the back of his neck, averting Charlotte’s stare for a moment and then looking at her again. “Oh, uh, I was in Chicago because of my work... and I thought that this conversation was too important to have it over the phone.”

“Well, it’s not me who needs your justification. She’s in the den. Just follow this corridor to your right. I left the door ajar.”

“Thank you.”

And Charlotte watched Darcy walk away, following her instructions. She hoped that things would finally be solved. This uncertainty had been going on for too long. She could now get a glimpse of an hesistant Darcy, probably preparing himself before he entered the room. _I just hope that they can be honest with each other,_ thought her.

She was preparing to go back to the living room when the sound of the bell was heard once more. _Finally. I’m starving._ Charlotte opened the door, retrieving some money from her pocket. She paid the deliverer and received the take-out. As soon as polite goodbyes had been exchanged, she walked towards the kitchen to drop the bags on the rustic, oak table.

The aroma of the food was calling her, and although Charlotte wanted to wait for her bestie, she also thought that it was unlikely that Lizzie would be leaving the den soon. She wondered if Lizzie was still recording when Darcy entered the room. _Oh, well. I might as have dinner. This was also for me._

Five minutes later, Charlotte felt someone enter the kitchen. She looked up from her plate and saw Lydia. She grabbed a pack of cookies, opened it and popped one in her mouth.

“Hey Charlotte.”

“Hi Lydia. How’re you doing?”

“I’m okay. I mean, taking one day at the time.”

“Sounds like a good philosophy to me.”

Lydia smiled.

“Where is Lizzie? Shouldn’t she be here with you eating Chinese?”

“Well, that was the plan, until a certain person arrived directly from Chicago.”

“Chicago? Who?,” questioned Lydia. She was eating another cookie.

Charlotte smirked and rethorically asked, “Who do you think, Lydia? It wasn’t certainly St. Patrick.”

Lydia’s eyes widened in understanding and she sat down on a chair perpendicular to Charlotte’s, struggling to not choke on her cookie. “Are you serious? Darcy’s here?”

“The one and only,” answered Charlotte, eating a little more of her delicious Chinese food.

Lydia had now stopped eating. “Wow. It was about time. I was getting tired of seeing Lizzie subrepticiously checking her phone every 10 minutes. I’m glad you came back yesterday to distract her. I tried to do something, but apparently I’m not allowed to anything because I’m the one who’s healing.”

“Lizzie is stubborn like that.”

“Infuriating, you mean? I’m not useless. I wish she would let me help her, but she says she needs no help because there’s nothing wrong. Or she starts deflecting me.”

“She doesn’t want to worry you.”

“Sometimes Lizzie is so blind... Ugh. You know when you’re watching a character on a show who’s clearly not seeing what’s in front of him and you just feel like screaming at your screen as if they’ll hear you?” Charlotte nodded. “That’s how I feel when I watch Lizzie’s videos nowadays.”

“Lizzie sees what Lizzie sees. ”

“She may be distracting herself with her independent studies and her thesis and me, but the elephant is still in the room. Running away from your problems and your fears and insecurities doesn’t really solve anything. I would know about that.”

Lydia detects a hint of worry in Charlotte’s eyes and that prompts her to continue.

“Oh, don’t worry. Sometimes I have my bad days, but therapy’s been helpful. I’m learning to think better and not let my brain follow the old dead-end roads.”

“I’m glad you’re getting better, Lydia.”

“I’m trying... And that’s good, right?,” Lydia smiled.

“I think it is.”

“Anyway, enough talking about myself and back to Lizzie. Seriously, Charlotte, you also think she’s in serious denial, isn’t she? I mean, you coined that expression,” the red head chuckled, while Charlotte put a hand on her mouth to hide her knowing smile.

“Just yesterday, before you were here, I got a hold of Lizzie’s iPod when she left it on the couch to go to the bathroom. I checked her most recently played tracks and do you know what she had there?”

“Hum... Maybe I can imagine,” wondered Charlotte, picking up her glass to drink some water.

“No you can’t. She had 80’s stuff like [_Wicked Game_](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/chrisisaak/wickedgame.html) and that song from that movie with Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey where they lose their memories... What’s it named?”

Charlotte put down her glass. “[ _Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime_](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/erasure/everybodysgottolearnsometime.html)?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“But wait, there’s more. She also had Ingrid Michaelson songs, [_The Greatest_](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/catpower/thegreatest.html) by Cat Power and that Damien Rice song, uh, [_The Blower’s Daughter_](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/damienrice/theblowersdaughter.html). That song is super sad, Charlotte!”

“I know.”

“But I saved the best for the end. Any guesses?” Lydia paused for a couple of seconds for dramatic effect. “[ _I Left My Heart in San Francisco_](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tonybennett/ileftmyheartinsanfrancisco.html).”

 _Oh, Lizzie_ , thought Charlotte. And she sighed. “Well, that’s interesting.”

“You bet. Well, I gotta get going back to my bedroom. I want to see if Mary’s already online so that we can chat,” said Lydia, standing up from her chair and leaving Charlotte alone in the kitchen with her own thoughts.

 _Well, and a couple more pieces for the puzzle of the many moods of Lizzie Bennet_. Her bestie had insisted on a very low-key birthday celebration because she was swamped with work and wasn’t in the mood for parties. Everyone eventually understood and acquiesced. That is why Mrs. and Mr. Bennet were not even home. They were nearby visiting the Lus.

 _Oh, Lizzie_. _Helping you eat your feelings_. Charlotte remembered Lizzie epically jumping on her seat (when she arrived earlier) and trying to minimise the windows on her laptop as soon as she noticed her, but Charlotte still had had a few seconds of advantage which had allowed her to catch Lizzie unguarded. She was not that silent, but Lizzie was incredibly absorbed watching episode 80 with her headphones on and she thought she recognised Darcy’s twitter account on another partially visible window. Charlotte called her, but she received no answer.

Lizzie had now begun watching episode 78 and quickly skipped to the part when Gigi Darcy pratically shoved her brother into the room when Charlotte decided to touch Lizzie’s shoulder to get her attention.

_“OH MY GOD, CHARLOTTE! You scared me.”_

_“I’ve just called you and you didn’t listen. What are you doing?”_

_“Oh, uh, nothing. Just refreshing my mind with some videos because of my thesis.”_

_“Yeah, right.”_

_“Don’t start, Char.”_

_“But I didn’t start anything.”_

_“It’s your tone. You know what I’m talking about.”_

Charlotte smiled at the vanishing memory. She now realised that she hadn’t listened to any angry or loud voices coming from the den yet, so she wanted to hope that things were going well. Whatever that meant. And she returned to her honey walnut shrimp.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, commenting and giving kudos.


	3. Shady Business (Darcy, Gigi)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy watches Gigi's new Sanditon video ("Immovable Force, Meet Irresistible Object") and has a conversation with his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this.

It was another Monday morning at the Pemberley Digital headquarters in San Francisco.

“How about we have a coffee break? We will meet again to discuss further details on this project within 20 minutes.”

Everyone agreed and stood up to leave the room, eager to satisfy their coffee needs.

“Won’t you have a break too, Mr. Darcy?”

“Yes, I will, Ms. Reynolds. I just need to do something else first.”

Anne Reynolds smiled and nodded, leaving the conference room with its sole occupant. William Darcy had not yet watched his sister’s new video-report on the Sanditon beta test with Domino because of this early meeting, but now he had a short period of time to do so on his smart phone.

He opened the video and waited a couple of seconds for it to start.

At first he frowned at Gigi’s attempt to justify herself, wondering what could she have possibly done that required this introductory explanation, but then he reminded himself that he should not automatically expect the worst. It would not be fair. He had to trust her, not just because she was his sister, but she was a valid asset to the company and he knew that her bright, vivacious personality was important. On a more personal level, it was also proof of her inner strength. He had to be proud of her after everything that had happened. He had discussed this matter just the other day with Lizzie over dinner.

But that was not the only reason he had frowned at first. The truth is that he had become more worried of late with the Domino beta testing. What seemed like a very promising community just a few months ago was now... In other words, he did not wish for Pemberley Digital to be involved in the murky waters of local politics. He often talked to Gigi and asked her several questions, but still... Naturally, he was somewhat impatient to see what were the new developments.

As usual, Gigi was as subtle as Gigi ( _was that a Lizzie-ism?_ ) and went straight for the kill.

 _A town in transition? Of course transition takes time,_ said Darcy to himself, _but it seems like this mayor is promoting a town that only exists in his mind._ He agreed with Gigi. _This man is trying to sell fiction._

 _Oh, I can’t believe this,_ muttered Darcy. _Now he is resorting to subterfuges and deflecting the main question? This man has been reading too many bad pop philosophy books._

 _You don’t know how things are done at Pemberley Digital, Mr. Mayor?_ He snorted, tearing his eyes away from his phone screen for a moment and shaking his head. _Well, I am certain we would be glad to show you how things are done here, Mr. Mayor, when we choose another community for our beta testing instead of your made-up Sanditon. We are not your puppets that you can play with to fulfill your politician needs._ William Darcy would not tolerate this kind of behaviour towards their beta test coordinator and Pemberley Digital.

 _Well, this is getting ridiculous now_ , thought Darcy, as he watched the passive-aggressive exchange unravel.

He wondered what the hell was happening on that town. A dozen questions were forming themselves in Darcy’s mind. He wanted to know to whom belongs the place where this ice cream shop is located, what kind of power does the mayor have and what kind of tactics would he be capable of resorting to to get what he wants for “new” Sanditon. He also questioned himself whether there are more businesses in a similar situation to Clara Breton’s Sanditon Scoops. He also thought that there was something strange about this Edward Denham, but he wasn’t quite sure what.

He wanted to call Gigi as soon as he finished watching the video, but Darcy made himself stop. It would be better to grab a coffee and have some time to think. Then he would talk to Gigi when his ideas were more organised.

When the meeting ended, the first thing he did was dialling Gigi’s number.

“William! I take it you have watched the video I posted a few hours ago?”

“Hello Gigi. Yes, you are correct.”

“I was asking myself why you hadn’t called yet.”

“Well, I almost did in the middle of a break we had a while ago, but the gravity of the situation required me to mull some things over.”

“Oh, I see. So, what are your thoughts?”

“I was thinking about Tom Parker. Who is this man? First he shows himself very welcoming and ready to help, but now he is presenting himself as a very unreliable person. His behaviour is questionable. Constantly averting the beta test coordinator’s calls, not honouring his scheduled engagements without a good justification, and the way he treated you in this video was rude.”

“I know, William. You heard on the video what I thought and I confronted him about it. This is all very strange. The more I know this town, the more confused I am.”

“And then he had the audacity to question how things are done at Pemberley Digital. I will show him very soon how things are done here if he keeps up with this ruse. We are not going to be used as one of his own propaganda tools.”

“Please, don’t freak out yet, William. Let me see what else can I discover.”

“I have been very patient, Gigi, but, to be quite honest, I am _this_ close to calling him and confronting him. It’s not just about you, it’s also because of our company. I do not want Pemberley Digital to be associated with this kind of schemes.”

“I know, I know, but just wait a little longer? Give me more time.”

He sighed.

“Gigi, I will not interfere. For now. I trust your insider knowledge of Sanditon, but if he insists on keeping this attitude, maybe one of these days I will personally make a visit to Sanditon and have a serious conversation with him wherever he is hiding.”

Gigi could not help a smile and said in a vaguely business-like tone, “Duly noted, Mr. Darcy.”

“Very amusing, Miss Darcy,” retorted her brother. “I have to go now, I still have another meeting with the marketing department before I have lunch with Lizzie.”

“Oh, you’re having lunch with Lizzie today? Tell her I said hi!”

“Don’t you have her phone number to talk to her?,” he asked with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, but it’s fun this way. Bye, William!”

“Take care, Gigi. And keep me updated.”  

 


	4. Darcy's first dinner with the Bennets - part 1 (Lizzie, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie tells her parents about her new boyfriend and a dinner invitation ensues.

Mrs. Bennet had spent the day in a barely contained panic, despite her middle daughter’s assurances that her boyfriend would surely appreciate roasted turkey legs for dinner. Lizzie feared what would happen tonight. It was the first time that William would have dinner with her family and she still remembered the awkwardness from the dinners with Bing a few weeks ago.

Lizzie would have preferred to keep all the recent developments in her life to herself a little longer, but it would have been pretty much impossible to do so. Charlotte knew and Lydia too. Lizzie had called Jane. Bing happened to hear part of the conversation so Jane told him. (He called Darcy afterwards.) William had wanted to keep it a secret from his sister and Fitz (something about giving them a little taste of their own medicine) and Lizzie laughingly agreed with him.

But Lizzie had had to tell their parents as well. She told her father first. He already knew about her videos anyway so she might as well tell him in advance.

“Lizzie, my dear, what is going on with you? You seem anxious.”

“Well... Maybe it’s because I have something to tell you.”

“You do? What is eating you, my child?”

“William sh-... I mean, William Darcy showed up here yesterday.”

“I see. And don’t you tell me that Mr. Darcy came here to declare himself again.”

Lizzie pursed her lips and averted her eyes from her father, confirming his jocose remark.

“And?”

“And... we’re in a relationship now.”

Thomas Bennet smiled. “Oh, come on, my dear Lizzie, don’t make that face,” he said, seeing his daughter’s slightly embarrassed look, “I think I have a vague idea of what has been going on with you. And I didn’t need to watch your videos to know that you’ve been moodier than usual, and not just because of your thesis.”

“I... Uh...”

“Just because I didn’t tease you about it, doesn’t mean that I didn’t suspect anything. You know that I’ve watched your videos. I saw your videos from Pemberley Digital. And the videos shot in the den. We have all been so very worried about Lydia and you especially wanted to carry all of the guilt surrounding what’s happened. But you have no right to do that. At least I am partially to blame, but when you get to my age, you realise that those feelings are only useful until a certain extent. After that they’re just part of our self-destruction mode. We’re all healing in one way or another, Lizzie."

“We are, aren’t we, dad?”

“Yes, my dear. But despite all of this I could see other parts of Lizzie trying to come out, but you were struggling to shut them down.”

“I, uh,” she stammered. Lizzie took a deep breath. “I tried to conceal them from myself for a while and then I had the lowest expectations possible because I was afraid and I...”

“I know. But I could witness you gradually beginning to see this Mr. Darcy in a different light. Quite the emotional rollercoaster, huh?,” tenderly joked Mr. Bennet, not being able to resist.

Lizzie gave him a shy smile.

“I just want you to be happy, Lizzie. You and your sisters. If you are happy, then I am happy too. I think it was quite obvious in January how this young gentleman still harboured feelings for you. He is a flawed man, but he is a good one. I don’t know how will I ever repay him for everything he did for Lydia, but I will be eternally grateful to him. And clearly he is an intelligent man,” he declared, taking his daughter’s hand in his, “otherwise he would have never changed his mind about you. You are more than decent enough, Lizzie.”

Lizzie had become teary-eyed and seemed at a loss for words.

“Don’t you dare cry, Elizabeth. I will not admit it. I don’t like to see my girls sad. I suspect that your mother doesn’t know anything about this yet, does she?”

“No, she doesn’t, but I will tell her.”

“Of course she doesn’t know, because if she did, she would already be talking about it non-stop. Can you please wait a little longer before you tell her? I’d like to enjoy a few more minutes of peace.”

“Okay, dad,” she laughed.  

 

* * *

 

 

“Lizzie? Are you quite serious? Are you telling me that you’re in a relationship with Mr. Darcy?”

“Yes, mom, I am dating Wiliam Darcy.”

“Oh my dear, but that is wonderful!” and Cassandra Bennet kissed her daughter’s forehead. “But wait a second, do you really like this man? I remember you hating him so much. I want you to find a husband, but are you quite sure of your feelings?”

“Hey, mom, calm down. I said I’m dating him, not that I’m marrying him tomorrow. And don’t worry. I got to know him better and my feelings eventually changed.”

“Was it Pemberley Digital, honey? Did something happen while you were in San Francisco, hum?,” she suggested, winking at her daughter.

“Mom! What the hell are you implying?!”

“Nothing, my dear, I will respect your privacy. But I am very glad that you’ve shadowed his company.”

Lizzie shook her head at her mother’s innuendos, but she knew deep down that she was very grateful that she had been given a second chance and that she had allowed herself to see beyond her first impressions of William Darcy.

“Lizzie,” her mother called her daughter from her sudden reverie, “we need to ask this young man to have dinner with us! We invited ( _You invited_ , thought Lizzie) dear Bing too when he was here to visit our Jane. Call him.” When Lizzie didn’t move she reiterated, “Go on. Now! Ask him if he can come here tomorrow night. I’d like to have him tonight but there’s not enough time to prepare anything!”

 

* * *

 

Lizzie had left the house, so that she could call him in a more private setting and without her mother trying to shout things for her to say. She dialled his number and waited for him to pick up his phone.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

Nothing.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

She gave up.

He was probably busy and she briefly resented him for it although she knew it was an irrational reaction. She wanted him to answer. She longed to hear his voice even if it hadn’t been too long since she had last heard it. But now any time without hearing his voice was always too much time.

Funny how for half a year she had hated everything that had to do with him, even his voice. Or maybe more the manner in which he spoke. Once she had defined it as robotic, but now (well, maybe a little longer than now) she found herself admiring its cadence, its subtle variations of tone, the softly spoken delivery of which she had had a brief glimpse right after she had talked on the phone with Charlotte almost two months ago.

_Lizzie, are you alright?_

Gosh, those words still hurt and thrilled her at the same time. But the present was better. Now she was allowed to hear words softly spoken more often. Words coming from his mouth. In her ear. Meant for her. And about her. Her name had a new sound too. And she was learning it. Sometimes he whispered it against her lips. She feared that one day he would start saying _Elizabeth_. It was quite possible that she would enjoy it.  

Suddenly she jumped because of her ringing phone and looked at the screen. _William_. She answered it.

“Hi, William.”

“Hello, Lizzie. I’m sorry for not having answered your call right away but I was still busy with a video conference. Are you alright?”

“It’s okay. I understand. Yes, I am. I was calling you because... my mother wanted me to invite you for dinner.”

“Oh, I see. You have told your parents about us.

“I did. Are you free tomorrow night, then?”

He chuckled lightly. “Of course. I would not dare reject such an invitation.”

“I’m sorry for not knowing your favourite food, but my mother is thinking of cooking turkey. Is turkey alright with you?”

“Please, Lizzie, do not apologise. I am certainly hoping that we will have plenty of time to learn more about each other.” Lizzie smiled although he couldn’t see it. “And yes, turkey is quite alright with me. But please, there is no need to exaggerate because of my presence. I would much prefer something simple.”

“That’s like telling my mother not to be herself,” she laughed, “but I will try my best. Do you still have a lot of work to do?”

“The work never ends, to be honest, but soon I will finish for the day. I always look forward to spending more time with you, Lizzie.”

“That’s good to know. Call me when you finish your work, okay? I’ll be trying to work on my thesis in the meantime.”

“Trying to work?,” and Lizzie imagined him smirking along with his slightly raised left eyebrow.

“Yes, it might be a little difficult because I’ll be waiting for a very important phone call, you see,” she teased.

“Hum... I see. Well, see you soon, then.” 

“See you soon.”

* * *

* part 2 including the dinner at the Bennet's coming soon *


	5. Darcy's first dinner with the Bennets - part 2 (Darcy, Lizzie, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, Lydia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy has dinner for the first time with the Bennets.

“So, Mr. Darcy, how are you finding this evening? _Illuminating_?”

William Darcy almost choked on the roasted potato that he was currently chewing. Mr. Bennet’s question had come out of the blue. Everyone had just been sharing a compass of silence while everyone was eating. He had to admit to himself that he wasn’t used to this type of comments (even when you have a sister called Gigi Darcy and a friend called Fitz Williams), especially when they came from your girlfriend's father. He had to drink some water out of necessity, but it would also be useful because it would give him a few more seconds to prepare his answer.

Lizzie’s two second surprise soon morphed into a struggle to keep a straight face, while throwing a sideways look at the sartorially elegant man sitting on her right. Even Lydia, on the other side of the table, next to her mother, couldn’t help a snort. Mrs. Bennet seemed oblivious to the subtext of her husband’s question. No one had had the guts to tell her about the videos yet, although she already knew (for the most part at least) about the true nature of George Wickham’s character who had dared to hurt her youngest daughter.

Darcy decided to act as if he hadn’t caught the reference.

“I am glad to be here, Mr. Bennet.”

“We are glad too, isn't it, Cassandra?”

“Oh yes, of course. It was about time that Lizzie brought someone _special_ here to have dinner with us!, ” commented Mrs. Bennet.

“Well mom, you were the one who insisted on inviting William.” Lizzie still felt strange about referring to William Darcy, the man she had hated for months, simply by his first name. William. Only Gigi called him that. And her now. That very same thought intimidated and thrilled her at the same time.

“Obviously I had to, dear, because otherwise things wouldn’t get done at all. I wonder if I’ll have to get you married too,” retorted Mrs. Bennet.

Now it was Darcy subrrepticiously looking at his girlfriend, who fidgeted with her napkin. Lizzie noticed it from the corner of her eye.

“Mom, please.”

A change of subject came from Lydia.

“Could you pass me the salad bowl, Lizzie?”

“Sure, here it is.”

“Thanks.”

“So, Mr. Darcy, I’ve heard Lizzie talking about your company. What does it do exactly?”

Lizzie smiled at her mother’s question because she knew that it was something that William was passionate about and had no qualms with talking about it.

“Oh, she did?, ” he said, trying to quickly get a glimpse of Lizzie before he answered. “Hum... It’s my family’s company. My grandfather created it as a production company in the aftermath of the Second World War, but nowadays we are focusing more on digital media. One of our biggest projects right now is the development of an application called Domino. My sister will soon be running the beta testing with a community selected by us in the next few months.”

“Oh, interesting,” said Mrs. Bennet, despite Lizzie knowing that her mother’s knowledge on this subject wasn’t really the best, yet she was glad by her encouraging attitude. “And your sister? Is she younger than you? What is she studying?”

“Yes, Gigi is younger than me. She is a graphic artist and is currently preparing herself to begin her graduate studies.”

“We’ll have to invite her to visit us one day after that beta testing thing,” Mrs. Bennet replied, turning her head in the direction of her husband, “Isn’t it, Thomas?”

“I suppose so, my dear,” answered Mr. Bennet with a smirk on his face.

“I am certain Gigi will appreciate it.” Darcy knew she would.

“And what about your parents?”

“Oh, no,” thought Lizzie. Her mother didn’t know about William’s parents. She didn’t even know much about them herself, to be honest. It had to be a very painful subject for both him and Gigi. She had only known about their death when she first visited the Pemberley Digital site. She panicked and looked at William, trying to decode his expression. He was looking down and his chin tucked to his neck. “Of course he would be uncomfortable. How could I forget telling mom about this? Stupid Lizzie,” and she was about to say something (although she didn’t really know what) when William cleared his throat.

“Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennet, our parents died some years ago.”

Mr. Bennet looked at Darcy with a grave expression and even Lydia stilled, leaving her fork halfway to her mouth.

“Oh, oh. I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me about it, Lizzie?”

Lizzie was visibly embarrassed, at a loss for words, and trying to wipe her increasingly sweaty palms on her skirt, when William covered her right hand with his left and intertwined his fingers with hers. Lizzie looked at their joined hands and smiled a little.

“Do not blame Lizzie, Mrs. Bennet. We had never really approached the subject ourselves.”

“I understand. When my mother passed away I was already married and with my daughters, but it didn’t make it any easier. And you both being still so young... Well, I’m sorry, I will stop,” Cassandra Bennet finished, although Lizzie still detected a spark of curiosity in her mother’s eyes.

“It is alright, Mrs. Bennet.”

“So young man, we all know that being a CEO must keep you very busy, but I was wondering whether you have any hobbies?,” inquired Mr. Bennet.

“Oh, I am not sure whether you can call them hobbies, given that I cannot be very regular, but I do enjoy cycling and swimming. In the winter Gigi and I like to ski too.”

“Oh, you are a sportsman, then.”

“Well, I find sports a healthy way of clearing my mind whenever I need it.”

“That is one way to look at it,” chuckled Mr. Bennet.

Darcy couldn’t help but smile as well.

“And what about other activities? I suppose that a well-informed, intelligent man like you must enjoy reading.”

“Yes, I am very fond of reading.”

“Our Lizzie has always read a lot,” remarked Mrs. Bennet, in the way that our family seems to talk when they want to impress or embarrass us in front of our friends... or in this case, boyfriends.

“I am aware of it,” said Darcy and his eyes briefly found Lizzie’s. Each one wondered if the other was still thinking of their passionate debates on several books (and misunderstandings) during her stay at Netherfield last summer.

“Are you interested in philosophy? Recently I’ve been reading about Karl Popper and his ideas on the concept of _verisimilitude_. Very interesting.”

Darcy suspected that he was being teased again. He was now beginning to realise from whom did Lizzie get that trait from. Lizzie was sure that her father was definitely teasing him.

“I read some works on philosophical theories from time to time. I find it a good way of looking at things from different perspectives.”

“Indeed. Well, everyone has already finished. Lizzie, you won’t mind if I steal away your Mr. Darcy from you for a little while. I’d like to show him my trains.”

“Sure, dad.”

Darcy remembered the pep talk that Lizzie had given him before the dinner, in which she had mentioned her father’s love for trains and he acquiesced.

 

* * *

 

Mr. Bennet had been talking about the several train sets he had on his office for some time when he stopped.

“Mr. Darcy, I did not want to only talk about trains when I brought you here. I know what you have done for Lydia and I need to thank you about it. The Bennets will be eternally grateful to you.”

“Please, Mr. Bennet, I would rather not bring up this subject. I did not do it for public recognition. I wanted to help and fortunately I was able to do so. It was the right thing to do.”

“I know. You did it for my Lizzie. I suppose you also had your sister in mind?”

“Well... Yes. I could not stand to see her in pain and not do anything. Not doing anything would have been torture. I also didn’t want to see another family suffering because of the actions of that man... Lydia didn’t deserve any of that.”

“I understand, I understand. May I call you William, son?,” Darcy found himself struck by the strangeness of this man’s request to call him by his first name as well as the endearment term Mr. Bennet had used (how long ago had someone referred to him as _son_?), but he nodded. “I will be candid. William, you are a good man. What you did speaks volumes about your character.”

Darcy was feeling a certain discomfort invade him, and Mr. Bennet seemed to sense it in his stiffness.

“You don’t need to be perfect to be a good person, William. Everyone has flaws, but it matters a lot what we do about them. And I am not just referring to what you have done for Lydia. It takes guts to face and accept criticism. Especially when it is delivered so harshly,” and now Thomas Bennet was smirking, clearly referring to her middle daughter’s brashness. “That being said, I am glad that you and my Lizzie have come to an understanding. I wouldn’t bear to see her with someone who did not respect her or found her merely _decent enough_.”

“I apologise for what I—”

“Young man, there is no need to apologise now, and if you do, I don’t think I am the right person to hear that,” he smiled. “Soon you will become more acquainted with the teasing nature of our family, William.”

“That would be a good sign, I suppose,” jested Darcy.

Mr. Bennet laughed.


	6. Sixty Videos and a Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An insight to Darcy's mind between episodes 59/60 and 61.

**_“You were unaware? Then why don’t you watch my videos?!” — 28th October 2012  
_ **

_What videos_ , he naïvely asked.

Her strange, deer-in-the-headlights look told him that probably this didn’t bode well for him. _But what videos_ , he wondered. The way she had just expressed herself was clear. So clear and bright that it almost blinded him. How could he have been so mistaken?

When Lizzie turned back, Darcy stood up. She said that she hadn’t meant to blurt out that. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, both trying to avoid each other’s eyes. He still didn’t understand what videos was she talking about, but he felt that prolonging his presence in that room would be like willingly put his hand in a pan with boiling water. Darcy said that he would distress her no more and left the room.

When Darcy got to his car, he turned off his phone for the rest of the day, something he rarely did. Ten minutes of silence delayed his departure from the Collins and Collins headquarters. He alternated between rubbing his hands on his face and closing his eyes and lolling his head back on the seat. He didn’t know what or how to feel. Or maybe he was feeling to many things all at once. He didn’t look forward to thinking about them.

 

* * *

****

**_Well. Certain things are starting to make more sense. — 2nd November 2012, 2:08 pm  
_ **

The discovery of Lizzie’s twitter account was quickly followed by the discovery of her videos. And he watched them. All sixty. It was quite possibly one of the most difficult things he had ever done. A mix of work for Pemberley Digital and his aunt plus his own distress and mortification had prevented him from watching them all at once, so it took him a couple of days to go through them all. Those last days of October had felt like being punched in his stomach a dozen times, if he were to be honest with himself.

He had to pretend that nothing had happened. Fitz knew him well enough so he already suspected that something had occured, but Darcy only told him to wait for Lizzie’s next episode and judge for himself.

Her videos had released a whirlwind of emotions within him. He found himself entranced by her fine eyes, her captivating wit and her idealistic spirit, only to suddenly have that pleasant feeling taken away from him over and over again as she used a multitude of adjectives to insult him. Sometimes she mocked him through costume theatre as well. She had never liked him. She hated him. He looked away from his laptop screen right after she had said that. He couldn’t help but notice the irony of the context.

Netherfield.

While she was telling the whole internet how much she abhorred him, he was falling more and more in love with her. Jane and Charlotte were a lot more perceptive than he had ever thought. Or perhaps his mask of composed indifference hadn’t been that good.

How could he have been so wrong about everything? Pain and agony slowly consumed him.

 

* * *

 

**_Somehow cliches about the accuracy of hindsight are not a comfort. — 2nd November 2012, 9:19 pm  
_ **

Now certain situations were easier to analyse. Not just Lizzie, but also Jane, Caroline and even George Wickham. His had curled his hands into fists every time he had seen him on the screen. His techniques were sickening. An image of Gigi crossed his mind. He couldn’t stand Lizzie’s opinion of him to be tainted by Wickham’s false story. She had to know the truth, regardless of her feelings from him.

His bubble of pride and haughtiness had burst, covering him with humiliation. How could he just assume that she had some sort of feelings for him? He had misinterpreted their endless heated discussions about everything. He still recalled his dreams being invaded a few times by vivid images of them passionately kissing each other during her stay at Bing’s house last summer (although he knew that one can’t control that).

Now he knew that for these past few weeks at Hunsford she had been putting on a mask of affability to help her friend. A part of him admired her for her devotion to their friendship, given how much she hated him.

His timing on Sunday had been horrible. He was so self-absorbed that he had barely heard her answer to his question about her well-being. As he declared himself, it looked more as if he was trying to purge himself from an illness that had taken over him. It made him cringe how presumptuous he looked when she rejected him. The face of hurt pride. The barely concealed confusion on his face when she told him that best thing he had ever said out loud about her was that she was “decent enough”. He remembered for a moment an episode in which Gigi talked about “facepalming”. Because he knew that that was true. What she didn’t know is that not too long after he had made that ridiculous comment at the Gibson wedding, his opinion of her began changing gradually, and he now deeply regretted having ever made it in the first place. When he tried to dismiss her, he started to be drawn to her.

Would the ironies never end?

He had too much on his mind, so he slept on it. Or at least he tried to.

 

* * *

 

**_Given this new information, it seems I need to reevaluate a few things. — 3rd November 2012, 12:02 pm  
_ **

William Darcy was not a man to remain quiet. The worst for him was the feeling of impotence. The one you feel when you know your parents died and there is nothing you can do to bring them back or protect your teenage sister from the cruel truth.

 _But what should I do?,_ he asked himself. _What can I do?_ Somehow he knew that confronting her accusations directly would not be a very wise option to make.

Perhaps a bike ride would help him work out this problem.

 

* * *

 

 **_@ggdarcy_ ** **_I'm actually headed out for a bike ride. Clear my head. Will call you tonight. — 3rd November 2012, 12:09 pm  
_ **

Gigi was worried about him, he knew that he couldn’t tell her anything. Not yet, at least. It would be selfish and he had to deal with this on his own. He deserved (and needed) to carry this burden.

He thought of everything and nothing as he absorbed his surroundings. Sometimes he focused very intently on certain details of the landscape, but not always. Sometimes he would zone out, lost in thought. He appreciated the feel of the wind on his face and body as he cycled, his feet pedalling and his hands gripping the handlebars. It made him feel free and in control at the same time. The sounds of the wheels somehow soothed him.

He struggled with himself. He felt ashamed. What was he doing? He wondered about the part of himself that had tried to dismiss and reject his feelings for her. Why? Because he felt that he wasn’t meeting his family’s expectations? Were those expectations all he really wanted for his life to be made of? Did he really think that he was better than everyone else? What were the reasons for him to think like that? Did he really agree with his aunt Catherine’s scathing remarks made towards Lizzie and her family’s situation during those long dinners at her house? He remembered barely being able to contain himself. One moment he wanted to tell his aunt to stop talking, and the other he found himself thinking of familiar and societal expectations.

He had prided himself on his principles but was he really living guided by them or had they been twisted by a perverted sense of duty? He didn’t know anymore. He had been too sure of himself for too long when Lizzie Bennet appeared in his life and started throwing rocks at the small windows of the seemingly invulnerable house where he lived in and woke him up from his slumber. Something that neither Gigi nor Bing or Fitz had been able to do so effectively.

He had to write down his thoughts, and everything else he wanted (had!) to tell her. That was what he had to do. He had to be honest and forthcoming and explain it all.

He cycled back home and took a shower, mentally preparing himself for what he would do next.   

 

* * *

 

**_Sometimes the only way to make sense of something is to write it down. — 3rd November 2012, 6:11 pm  
_ **

So he wrote. A letter would give him all the time that he felt was necessary to ponder over and neatly organise his jumbled thoughts. He knew that this letter would take him time, so he spent the rest of his night immersed in its writing. Thinking, writing, rethinking, rewriting... He would reject the first couple of drafts, not feeling them to be quite right. He would only settle with the third one. Several pages filled with his careful handwriting, which he would deliver to her the following day.

_Lizzie, do not fear a repetition of the feelings I professed the previous Sunday. That will not happen. You have made yourself very clear and I will respect your wishes. I am writing to you as a means of defending myself of some of the accusations that were made against me. I feel that I have the right to defend myself and I appeal to your sense of justice..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to explain why I didn't make Darcy watch all of Lizzie's videos in one row: given that the confrontation between them only appeared on episode 60 (published on 1st November), I suppose Darcy's reactions could only be tweeted after that, although the events had actually happened during that last weekend of October. I chose Sunday because Lizzie usually shot her Monday videos during that day of the week. And it would make sense for him to "publicly" react only after he had had some time to digest everything.


	7. Under the same roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of Lizzie and Darcy's thoughts about each other while she and Jane are temporarily living at Netherfield.

  
**_bingliest:_ ** _@that_caroline Netherfield is starting to feel really lived in, isn't it? Homey. — 9th July 2012, 7:55 pm_   


  
**_wmdarcy:_ ** _@bingliest @that_caroline perhaps a little too crowded. — 9th July 2012, 7:57 pm_   


_"And the bad — I'm living under the same roof as... Darcy. I mean, what the eff! I feel so sorry for the poor woman that ends up stuck with that douchebag. — **Lizzie Bennet** (ep. 27 - Welcome to Netherfield)  
_

* * *

When Bing Lee told his friend William Darcy that Netherfield was about to receive Jane and Lizzie Bennet, his first reaction was one of inquiring surprise. Bing said that their home was undergoing some construction work and that he had offered them his place to stay temporarily. Darcy nodded. After Bing left the room, he tried to get back to work, but it was futile. He couldn’t focus and let out a groan of frustration. Darcy found this situation utterly ridiculous and he told himself that he shouldn’t be so disconcerted by what Bing had just told him, but the truth is that he was. And he hated that. Elizabeth Bennet was about to live under the same roof as himself for who knows how much time.

Lizzie could say that she was enjoying her stay at Netherfield for the most part. She had the chance to be with her sister more, she could know better the Lees and even had time to tick off a couple of books from her _to-read_ list, but she wasn’t completely satisfied. Her viewers knew her vehement dislike of William Darcy and anything that had to do with him. She cursed her fate that had forced her to keep a certain degree of intimacy with this man every single day. The type of intimacy that is inevitable when you live in the same house with someone. When she accepted Bing Lee’s invitation to stay at Netherfield, she knew that it was likely that she would see him often, but this situation was proving to be more difficult to tolerate than what she had initially thought. It was gradually becoming more like a punishment.

It was almost as if he were being punished. He thought that that strange, uncomfortable feeling that had started to appear a few weeks ago was gone, but he was wrong. Now he was seeing Lizzie Bennet every single day and he quickly realised that this situation had the power to provoke very conflicting emotions within him. He both dreaded and wanted to get a glimpse of her. He found solace in his work and he purposefully avoided the rooms she was in only to casually find her later in another part of the house. He began to find himself looking at her more often and he chastised himself for doing that, but it can be difficult to stop looking at something that fascinates you. And Lizzie fascinated him in many ways and a lot more than he wanted to. So he tried to conceal his interest from everyone, including himself.

She didn’t understand how this man could be so rude and arrogant and look down on everyone. It was almost as if he had a stick up his ass. _How can he live like this?_ She wondered what or if he ever did anything for fun. _Does he even genuinely like anything at all? Maybe he is one of those guys who works all the time and only sees dollars in front of his eyes. He probably dreams about swimming in his money-filled pool, like Scrooge McDuck_ , she chuckled to herself. But something about him had started to make her feel umcomfortable. Not that she would freely admit that on her videos, though. She had begun to notice his staring and it puzzled her. His unwavering gaze made her feel as if she were being examined. Sometimes she stared back at him on purpose just to show him that she wasn’t afraid of him and that he couldn’t intimidate her with his judgy, mocking eyes, but apparently that wasn’t enough. _Maybe he can’t stop finding faults to criticise_ , she thought, but she forced herself not to care about that.

Lizzie was a problem that he couldn’t solve and he didn’t like that. He almost felt relief when he first heard the rumour that the Bennet house was almost finished, but it had been just a false alarm. There was something deeply unsettling and captivating about seeing Lizzie early in the morning in one of her sundresses, with her wet auburn hair, eating a bowl of cereal and drinking coffee, but he couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. Until one day he began to fantasise about the same scenario taking place in his apartment in San Francisco.

( _Good morning, Elizabeth_ , he would tentatively whisper it in her ear one day, catching her by surprise, but she would smile at him _._ He rarely heard anyone calling her that. He wondered if she disliked her name and that thought saddened him, because he secretly loved the elegant beauty of her name and the way it sounded. Not that she would really care about that, of course, especially when such remark came from him.)

Then he would abruptly wake up from such reverie and shake his head so that such ideas would dissipate from his mind. It was already bad enough that he couldn't control what his brain made him dream while he was asleep.

Lizzie was growing more and more irritated by Darcy. When they weren’t silent, they discussed about pretty much everything, from literature to cinema to current affairs to music or the complexities of the human nature. Whenever Jane and Bing were in the same space, they always tried to pacify the atmosphere, but not always they succeeded. Sometimes it was as if there was a tennis match being disputed in front of them. Their wish for harmony was frequently challenged by the stubborness and fervid opinions of her sister and his best friend. Caroline, a keen observer of these interactions, usually preferred to remain as neutral as possible.

He would have to be more careful because he was starting to tread into some dangerous territory. Caroline had already been suspicious [the other day](http://www.lizziebennet.com/2012/07/reservation/) when he had finished his work earlier. Despite reproaching himself for it, he had been looking forward to that dinner. Well, not merely that dinner, but every time he had the chance to see or talk (or more like _verbally battle_ ) to Lizzie. _But when is that damn house going to be finished_ , he often asked himself. If she left, things would get back to normal. Normal is safe. _But why would you want normal?_ He could hear Gigi’s voice in his mind questioning him. His sister didn’t even know of the existence of Lizzie Bennet and how she was turning his world upside down.

He felt as if he had spent a very long time organising and putting everything in the right place in his house and then she had just barged in and started to ruin all the work he had done. Changing the order of his thoughts, hiding his lists of duties, stirring feelings in him that he didn’t even know he was capable of. _Who was she to do that? When had he allowed her to do that?_ He suspected that he didn’t want to know the answer because he truly feared it. He needs to clear his head, so he goes on a [bike ride at the end of the day](http://www.lizziebennet.com/2012/07/cycling/). He doesn’t plan on coming back soon.

Darcy secretly looked forward to their lively conversations, although classifying them as _lively_ was putting it lightly. He admired how she wasn’t afraid to stand up and speak for herself. Her opinionated nature was enthralling and there was a spark in her eyes — _her fine eyes_ ­— that delighted him. He couldn’t help but feeling attracted to her. She was different. She didn’t pretend or hid behind subterfuges. He wondered why she always seemed to be confronting him, though. Sometimes it looked as if she actually enjoyed it.

When Jane first suggested that Lizzie might be seeking out discussions with Darcy on purpose, she scoffed and laughed, claiming that that wasn’t true at all, but she also added that she had never been the type of person who keeps her mouth shut whenever she is confronted with something with which she doesn’t agree. She would never admit to anyone that there was a part of her that took pleasure in those discussions. Not often she would meet someone with whom she could talk about things that interested her and he always seemed to be up for the challenge, despite being such an infuriating person. There is a certain thrill about confronting someone who you really dislike and trying to prove them wrong.

One day Lizzie was caught by surprise. She had been steadly progressing in her reading of _North and South_ , while Bing and Jane were watching a comedy on the television, when Darcy entered the room carrying his Mac laptop and a pair of head phones. She couldn’t help but lift her eyes from her book and see what he was going to do. Bing vaguely noticed him, praising his friend for leaving his bedroom yet reproaching him for not being able to leave his Mac behind, but quickly brought back his attention to Jane and the film. Darcy sat down on a chair and put his laptop on the table occasionally used for smaller meals and started typing. Lizzie said nothing but silently criticised him for his never-ending stuck-upness before returning to her book.

Twenty minutes later she stopped again. She could almost swear that Darcy had just been looking at her, but when she reciprocated the gesture, he was as focused on his laptop screen as ever. For a few moments she allowed herself to observe him. She noticed his furrowed brow and the look of profound concentration on his eyes and the way one of his hands covered his mouth for a few moments. Suddenly a hint of something began to form on his face. _Was that..._ _a smile?_ She could barely believe it. _What could William Darcy possibly be smiling about?_ She tried to come up with snarky answers to her own question but she discovered that she couldn’t do so. His smile, albeit small, seemed genuine. It didn’t look like a smile of pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

(She couldn’t possibly know that he was actually reading a long email written by his sister.)

She had just began to admire how that smile softened his features, usually so stiff and severe, when she caught herself red-handed. _What the hell, Lizzie!_ She chastised herself for indulging on such a stupid activity, and started to remind herself of all the negative things she had listed about him. She was not supposed to admire this man in any way.

Little did she know that someone else in that same room was having precisely the same thought about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "Reservation" story element actually took place on the 17th July (Lizzie shot episode 30 on the 18th and curiously she refers to events that happened "last night") and "Cycling" happened on the 20th. I guided myself by the time of the tweets and not the dates on the site.


	8. Trying to be nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation had at the Collins & Collins offices that Lizzie describes in episode 55 (aka the Darcybot episode).

As soon as Lizzie stepped out of her office, she was already regretting having said yes to Charlotte’s request. She wanted to help her bestie, but Lizzie really didn’t want to see William Darcy, let alone being pleasant and talk to him. It was a short walk for both friends from the office assigned to Lizzie to the lift that would taken them to a lower floor. She tried to prepare herself the best she could to face the situation that was due to happen in a couple of minutes.

“Come on, Lizzie, it won’t be that bad, ” commented Charlotte as she pushed the buttons of the lift, after noticing Lizzie’s serious look on her face.

“Yeah, sure,” deadpanned the auburn-haired woman.

“What is it that you said weeks ago? _I had to endure one month living under the same roof as him._ This is going to be a piece of cake, Lizzie.”

“Thanks bestie for your practical approaches to pretty much everything.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” and Charlotte took a small bow as the doors of the lift opened.

 

* * *

 

Male voices were beginning to be heard more clearly as both Charlotte and Lizzie walked towards the lounge area.

“—very glad to receive you in our humble offices, Mr. Darcy. And Mr. Williams too, of course. I hope you will enjoy your stay here.”

“I’m sure we will, Mr. Collins. Right, Darcy?”

“I am certain they will suit our purposes.”

“Your aunt has been the most generous patroness I could have ever hoped for, Mr. Darcy. How fortunate are you in having such a—”

“Lizzie.”

Charlotte noticed how Darcy suddenly looked at the entrance right when she and Lizzie showed up. Fitz caught Darcy freezing for a split second and then he saw the reason of his friend’s distraction from what Mr. Collins was saying. Not that he had been paying much attention to it in the first place, he thought, but he could just feel something strange in Darcy’s reaction to this Lizzie. After years of being friends with William Darcy, Fitz was bound to know him a little.

“Oh, hello. So, Charlotte,” Fitz began, “is this the famous grad student Lizzie Bennet that you had talked to me about?”

“Indeed she is,” replied the person in question. “And you are...?”

“Oh, I’m Fitz. Nice to meet you, Lizzie B.”

“Lizzie B.?”

“Yeah, it’s just my thing. I don’t mean to offend,” and his slightly playful but sincere expression on his face plus his hand on his heart made Lizzie smile. “So, I’ve heard you know my friend Darcy?,” and Fitz slapped his friend’s back, in an effort to break the ice.

“Yes, I do,” her smile quickly fading away from her lips.

“I hope your family is doing well, Lizzie,” Darcy commented, his first words since his spontaneous “Lizzie” when both women had entered the room.

Lizzie remembered her promise to Charlotte and a smile that not quite reached her eyes was directed at the man who had just talked to her, “Yes, they are.”

She wondered why was he asking this again when he had made the same inquiry during last Monday’s dinner at his aunt’s. _He’s like a buggy robot_. Then she thought she could ask him something in return and her eyes shone with glee, “Jane has been in L.A. for some time, actually. Did you see her while you were there with Bing and Caroline?”

“Ah, no. I did not see Jane,” he replied somewhat stiffly.

In the meantime, Ricky Collins felt clearly at a loss as to what he should do or say, so he contented himself with absorbing as much of this conversation as he could.

The conversation hit an uncomfortable silence while Darcy and Lizzie looked at each other for a couple of seconds, and Fitz tried to fill it, making Charlotte immensely grateful for Darcy’s friend.

“Lizzie, Darcy had told me that you’re studying Mass Communications?”

Lizzie felt slightly uncomfortable at the thought of Darcy talking about her with other people but tried not to give it much thought.

“Yes, if everything goes according to plan I’ll be getting my Master’s degree next year. And then I’m probably doomed to a life of unemployment,” she laughed at her own self-deprecating comment.

“Nah, don’t think like that! You gotta be persistent. I’ve been told that you’re a lively, witty young lady and I’m sure you’ll find your place somewhere.”

“I like your optimism, Fitz.”

“That and my flawlessly moisturised skin are my best qualities, you know,” Lizzie chuckled while Charlotte smiled. “All reasons why my bro Darcy hangs out with me. He needs some fun in his life,” his laughter reverbating in the room. There was only the barest hint of a smile on Darcy’s face, which Lizzie couldn’t quite catch.

“Lizzie’s here because she’s shadowing our company for one of her independent studies,” mentioned Charlotte.

“Oh, really?”

“Yea—”

“Miss Bennet puts a great effort on her education. After all she rejected my tempting offer for her to work here some time ago,” said Ricky Collins.

Everyone in the room (apart from Mr. Collins) noticed the discomfort that such subject was giving Lizzie and even Charlotte wished to change the subject, still remembering her weeks-long fight with her friend. Darcy was trying to come up with something to say when Fitz intervened.

“So, how about I invite everyone to have dinner with me and Brandon tonight? We could get to know each other better...”

“Who’s Brandon?”

“Oh, sorry Lizzie. Brandon is my boyfriend. So, can I count with you?

Charlotte and Lizzie looked at each other, exchanging looks of approval. “Yeah, sure, Fitz,” Lizzie replied.

“Cool. Are you coming to dinner with us too, Darcy?,” asked his friend.

“I had already told you that I have other duties to attend to. I won’t be able to make it.”

Lizzie sighed inwardly of relief.

Ricky Collins’s also added his dismal at not being able to attend such a delightful opportunity for social interaction, but he remarked that it would be hopefully remedied with a future dinner at Ms. de Bourgh’s. Lizzie mentally eye rolled.

 

* * *

 

Not too long afterwards she excused herself from the conversation and got back to her office, where she tried to come up with a way of finishing the video that she would be publishing tomorrow morning. She absolutely had to include costume theatre. She had to. But in what way? _Buggy robot_. _Darcybot_. She smiled to herself.


	9. Winds of change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between episodes 77 and 78: Lizzie's thoughts on (the) Darcy(s) and a conversation with Anne Reynolds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! I hope you enjoy it.

The more Lizzie walked through the Pemberley Digital corridors, the more enveloped she felt by the creative atmosphere of this place. Yes, it was demanding, but overall people seemed to be content with their situation, or so she inferred from the smiles and the enthusiastic way some of the employees had conversed with her. Pemberley definitely didn’t emanate a creepy Stepford Wives vibe, like she had said on the video she had recorded on Friday and published yesterday. It seemed genuine and that had taken her aback a little. Perhaps because it was still difficult to combine this image of this company with its CEO.

She recalled the relief that had made her body and mind relax more when she read that tweet of his _._ _If the first couple days are a reflection of the year to come, then I will be spending much of 2013 in meeting rooms in Los Angeles._ She didn’t even know very well why she had decided to follow him on Twitter. It wasn’t like she couldn’t know where he was (so she could prepare herself) without doing that. He surprisingly didn’t have a private account, despite being such a reserved person. Or maybe that  was precisely why he didn’t mind such thing, because he knew where to draw the line. The truth is that it had felt right clicking on that blue button. It was almost like a peace offer, a subtle way of communicating that she didn’t hate him anymore. She had brought his letter with her to San Francisco not just as a safety measure, but also because she still reread it from time to time. Not that she would admit that to anyone, of course.

Her reluctance in coming to Pemberley Digital for her shadowing had had more to do with all the moments of embarrassment and awkwardness that she had predicted would inevitably happen. How would she be able to look at him in the eye and act like those events of a few months ago hadn’t occurred? The dread of meeting him and not knowing when haunted her from time to time. It was his company after all. He probably didn’t want to see her either and she understood that.

Darcy had to know that she was there, didn’t he? He must receive emails with the lists of people who would intern or shadow his own company at the very least. And not everyone had the chance to be there. (She couldn’t avoid the wave of gratitude that suddenly filled her.) She had been introduced to a couple of interns during her short stay at Pemberley Digital. Or maybe he wouldn’t even notice her name on that list. Why would he even do that, she thought, shaking her head. Whatever feelings he might have had once for her must have already disappeared by now. No other possibility made sense.

 

* * *

 

Lizzie thought of using her break to revisit the Memorial Hall. She had been curious about this place after reading about it on the Pemberley Digital site. During her tour everything had happened too quickly, but now she had a little more time to absorb it all.

It was impossible not to think of the reasons behind the construction of this building. The image of a chirpy, welcoming (in her own way) Gigi presented itself in her mind and she wondered how it would have felt like if you lost your parents when you were a teenager. Of course you couldn’t imagine that. But a great deal of pain must have been involved. She knew that Anne F. and William S. Darcy had tragically died roughly eight years ago, but she didn’t know how they had died. She hadn’t had the courage to ask anyone yet, but curiosity bubbled up inside of her, making her stomach clench with feelings of guilt at the same time.

There was a lot about the Darcys that she didn’t know about. Being rich didn’t mean you were impervious to tragedy. The words of homage near the entrance/exit of the Memorial Hall dedicated to the couple after whom it had been named stayed with her, as she wandered through the corridors and admired the good taste put into the decoration. Modern could be be sophisticated and clean, but also too impersonal and a little cold, but the presence of some vintage, old elements created a very pleasant blend. Given the emotional weight of this place, Lizzie was sure that both siblings must have had plenty of input on how they wanted things done.

As she now reached the space dedicated to the collection of modern art, her mind was now musing over something else. That is, someone else. How do you become the CEO of a company when you’re so young? What was going through William Darcy’s mind during that period of time? Too many things, probably. A emotionally distraught Darcy somehow didn’t seem something quite real. The idea of losing both her parents was leaving her stomach in knots (like the sculpted figure now in front of her was full of those as well). But whatever difficulties he had had, he had stepped into that role and from what she knew, Pemberley was flourishing. He had not only pursued his father’s perspective, but also expanded on it and added ideas of his own. Her mocking words from several months ago made no sense at all. He certainly didn’t spend his days lounging around and doing nothing at all.

 

* * *

 

When Lizzie finally reached the top-floor greenhouse garden, she realised that she wasn’t alone. She quickly turned her back, ready to go downstairs, but a voice called her.

“Hum... Elizabeth Bennet?”

Lizzie turned her head.

“I apologise, you prefer to be called Lizzie, isn’t it?, ” asked Anne Reynolds.

Lizzie nodded and smiled.

“Please, Lizzie, you don’t need to leave because of me. I think it would be nice to know more about one of our interns.”

Lizzie walked towards Mrs. Reynolds, Pemberley Digital’s General Manager, uncertain of what she would be asked.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to interrupt anyth—“

“It’s quite alright. You have good taste, you know. I love this place too. It makes me feel at peace, something very needed when you’re working in the fast-paced world of media,” the elder woman chuckled. Lizzie smiled back.

“The other day I hadn’t had the chance to see things in more detail and I thought this would be a good way of spending my break.”

“Wise choice, Lizzie. So, how are you finding things here? Have we disappointed you or intimidated you enough?,” she smirked.

“Oh, not at all. Everything is still very new but when I feel either of those things I will warn you, Mrs. Reynolds.”

“Good to know,” Anne Reynolds replied. Lizzie could tell she had caught her attempt at wittiness and her stiffness began to lessen. “This is a beautiful place, don’t you think? Anne Darcy was very fond of flowers and plants in general. She especially loved lilies.”

“Did you know her?”

“Oh, yes. Her husband too.”

“So you’ve been working here for a while...”

“Well, I saw our CEO as a little boy so I suppose so.”

An image of a blue-eyed young boy running around suddenly formed in Lizzie’s mind. She had never thought of William Darcy as a child. It was somewhat strange, although this didn’t make any sense because rationally she knew that everyone had once been a baby.

“Miss Darcy told me that you’ve known him for some time? And Mr. Williams too?”

“Uh, yes, we attended a wedding of a mutual friend last Spring. I know the Lees too.” Lizzie preferred not to get into the details of their complex acquaintance. “I met Fitz a few months ago.”

“And tell me, don’t you think we have a handsome young man as the CEO of Pemberley Digital?,” commented Mrs. Reynolds, raising her left eyebrow. Lizzie, scratching the back of her head, didn’t quite know what answer to give in this context so a smile was what came out.

“Don’t worry, Miss Bennet, I was only teasing a little. No harm intended.”

“No harm done, Mrs. Reynolds.”

A few moments of silence followed, only the sounds of the traffic echoing in the distance.

“It’s funny, I had thought that one day I would probably see Mr. Darcy take his father’s place in this company, but I had no idea it would be sooner than expected.”

Lizzie tried to quench her curiosity in most natural way possible, “Well, it looks like things worked out in the end, isn’t it?”

“Well, yes, I mean, he always was a very intelligent, clever sort of boy, but to assume so much responsibility at such a young age?,” Mrs. Reynolds now walked at a slow pace, looking at the flowers and speaking at the same time. Lizzie, an attentive listener, walked along with her.

“It certainly wasn’t an easy task. Some of the people, like me, who’ve been working here for a long time, know how things were around here when _that_ tragedy happened. I suppose you can imagine,” Anne Reynolds’ eyes searched Lizzie’s, who slightly pursed her lips and nodded.

“Miss Darcy was only a teenage girl, and Mr. Darcy had to drop everything and fly from the other side of the country. He transfered and finished his studies closer to home. At the same time he was starting to truly take the reins of this place and show the stakeholders that he was capable of doing so.”

“Oh.”

“It was heartbreaking. I also lost two friends, especially dear Anne. Nothing in the world can ever erase that kind of loss, you know. I knew that their children had other family members, but I still felt responsible for them in a way. Not too long after that awful accident, they said that they wanted to have something dedicated to their parents. A year later, this Memorial Hall was finished,” and Mrs. Reynolds motioned with her hands, looking around. Lizzie lifted her eyes too.

“Mr. Darcy never ran from what he thought were his responsibilities. Always devoted to his sense of duty towards his family and Pemberley Digital. Perhaps a little too much for his own good in certain situations, I think. But that’s another story.”

 

* * *

 

Lizzie’s head had been filled for the rest of the day with everything that Mrs. Reynolds had told her. She kept thinking of Gigi and Darcy and couldn’t help but feel pride for them. Different scenarios of what had happened ran through her head. She wondered how they had known about everything, what their reactions must have been like. Had Gigi been alone? Had Bing or Fitz been with Darcy at that time? How had both siblings dealt with their loss?

She imagined William Darcy wanting to be strong for his sister, perhaps not allowing himself to feel anything. How he prepared himself for such an important position on his family’s company. Trying to prove himself.

Mrs. Reynolds had mentioned that he had never rejected his duties and implied something else. Could that be related to what he had said in that disastrous confession last October? He had spoken of “respecting the wishes of his family” and “two parts of himself being at war”. Of course she still thought that the remarks he had made towards her and her family had been offensive, but, now, with the distance from such an event that the passing of time eventually brings, a part of herself wondered about what kind of emotional turmoil William Darcy had been living under and for how long.

 

* * *

 

Anyway, now she needed to shoot a new video for tomorrow before she went out to have dinner with Dr. Gardiner.


	10. The first party at Netherfield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bennet sisters receive a formal invitation to attend a party at Netherfield on 23th June 2012. Takes place between episodes 22 and 23.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of stuff these last few weeks. But here's something new.

“So, Lizzie, what do you think of [your dress](http://looksbyjane.tumblr.com/post/25939463527/lizzie-bennet-ready-for-bing-lees-party-on)?”

“I think it looks very pretty, Jane,” said Lizzie, as she looked in the mirror. “Glad I have a fashion expert here with me, huh?”

“Oh, Lizzie,” and Jane looked away, blushing a little. “Having a good model also helps, you know about that? That wavy hair looks good on you.”

“But the real star of the party is going to be you, my dear, older sister. Look at your outfit! Bing won’t be able to take his eyes off of you in [that emerald dress](http://looksbyjane.tumblr.com/post/26032266514/emerald-city-by-jane-bennet-the-perfect-vintage)...” teased Lizzie, quickly raising and lowering her eyebrows in a suggestive way.

“Oh, stop it,” Jane’s cheeks becoming even rosier.

“Okay, okay,” Lizzie putting her hands in the air, “not saying anything else. At least you’ll be having some fun tonight.”

“But why wouldn’t you have any fun? Is this still because of Da—“

“Sure it is. That man just... Ugh. I just want to stay away from him. And Caroline too,” she sighed. “I’m sorry Jane,” Lizzie added, seeing her sister’s frustrated look, “but, I don’t know. I’m not too sure about her. Hopefully she and Darcy will spend the night lurking in the corner and being snarky and I won’t have to deal with them very much.”

“But Lizzie, I can—“

“I know what you’re going to say, but are you seriously going to waste this chance of spending more time with Bing so you’ll keep your poor sister company? Don’t even think about it, Jane. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.” Jane waited for Lizzie to continue, and then she added, “I can understand Bing putting up with Caroline because she’s his sister, but I still don’t get it how Bing and Darcy are friends. I swear I can’t see how they even became friends in the first place.”

“Lizzie, I don’t like hearing you say things like that. You’re so stubborn and so quick to have your opinions set in stone that I—“

“Have you forgotten that I wasn’t the one who dismissed someone on the first chance they got and called them ‘decent enough’?” her sarcasm pouring out of her mouth.

Jane wouldn’t tell her sister (she would surely deny it), but she had wondered more than once about Lizzie’s fixation on the events of the Gibson wedding. If Lizzie truly didn’t care, she wouldn’t keep bringing up that. Lizzie often did that whenever something made her truly upset. Those remarks had hurt her.

She hadn’t been pleased with what Darcy had told Bing about her sister, but she was still studying him, especially after that night at Carter’s. Charlotte had been much more willing to draw her conclusions and make a video a few weeks ago about what had passed, but Jane had admitted that it had been really strange how Darcy seemed to be staring at Lizzie. Could he be changing his first impression of her? Charlotte seemed sure that there was something worth studying in his gaze.

 

* * *

 

_“Come on, Jane, I know Lizzie will kill me when she sees this video, but I have eyes on my face and that dude was certainly not wordlessly criticising Lizzie Bennet.”_

_“Well... I suppose you’re right.”_

_“Of course I am. You just don’t look that intensely at someone if they’re just ‘decent enough’. Although Darcy is a strange guy, but I digress. My point is, there is something happening and I’ll keep my eye on it.”_

* * *

 

Jane sighs.

“Okay, Lizzie, I see your point of view, but try not to focus too much on that? All that anger does you no good. Besides, Darcy won’t be the only person there, is he?” and she gave her sister an encouraging smile.

“Well, yes, you are right, I know. But...,” and Lizzie takes a deep breath, “you know what? I’m tired of talking about this. Let’s just go to this party.”

“Yay, Lizzie!”

Jane’s bedroom door suddenly bursts open, “Yeah, we better go to that damn party! I wanna have some fun!” shouted Lydia. “You’re all gonna thank me later for my AWESOME idea.” She turned around, the skirt of her electric blue dress flowing, and went away.

 

* * *

 

The jazzy tones of Nina Simone’s _Feeling Good_ echoed in Netherfield as a waistcoat-wearing Bing Lee rushed to greet his friend who had just arrived, “Hey, Darcy, glad you could make it!”

“[I had already assured you I would be present](http://www.lizziebennet.com/2012/06/arrangements/),” said Darcy, as he took off his jacket and hung it on one of the hooks in the hall, revealing a dark blue button-up shirt and a pair of skinny grey suspenders, “I do not make promises lightly.”

“And that is why I’m proud to count you as my best friend,” patting his friend on the back. Darcy gave a hint of a smile and then schooled his face back to its usual serious, observant expression.

“Man, I am nervous. It seems that I’m even worse than my sister usually is when she has to organise these things. I hope everyone likes it, especially Jane.”

“So they haven’t arrived yet?,” inquired Darcy, avoiding the mention of the name of the middle sister who had been on his mind more often that she should be these last few weeks.

“No, they are on their way here. Jane texted me a little while ago,” Bing replied.

Darcy nodded.

 “Well, I know you’re not into this kind of thing,” started Bing, “but I hope you enjoy this party, Darcy. I really do.”

“Thank you Bing. I will try.”

“It would be too much to wish you have some fun, huh?,” smirked Bing in the teasing way that you’re allowed to joke with your friends, even if they’re William Darcy.

Darcy raised his left eyebrow. “Don’t tempt your good luck, Bing.”

Bing laughed.

_Click clack. Click clack._

The increasing sound of high-heeled shoes announced a female presence.

“Darcy!,” greeted a cheerful Caroline, sporting a form-fitting, knee-length red dress with one strap. “You’re here.”

“As you see.”

“Good because I need someone to calm down my dear brother who has been restless as 5 year-old about to open his Christmas presents.”

“Oh, come on, Caroline,” exclaimed her brother.

_Ding._

“Oh,” said Bing “that would be my phone.” He checks his new messages. “Oh, it’s Jane saying they’re already here. Going to meet them outside!”

Caroline was the first to talk as she and Darcy watched Bing briskly walking outside, “Jane is a lovely girl, but I don’t think my brother knows what he’s doing.”

Darcy remained silent.

 

* * *

 

 “So, I’m very glad you’re all here, Bennet sisters,” commented Bing as they entered the house, but lingering his gaze a few moments more on the elder sister, “you can leave your coats and jackets here in the hall.”

“Wow, Bing, the house is totes amazing! Serious sockslide material is a plus in my book,” proclaimed the younger Bennet.

“Good to know, Lydia,” smiled the host.

Lizzie noticed how both Darcy and Caroline were observing them from a few feet away.

_Probably judging us, already. Well, I don’t care._

* * *

 

Lizzie, standing near the bar area, watched as Jane and Bing talked to each other pratically non-stop and she had a sense of _déjà vu_.

She recalled the events of the Gibson wedding and smiled. She felt really happy for her sister and wondered if there would be two sisters instead of three coming home tonight if things kept up this momentum.

So distracted she was that she didn’t even notice at first who was now three, four feet away from her.

Darcy. _Ugh_.

She was facing the back of his suspender-clad torso, and apparently he was asking for a drink. Lizzie hoped he hadn’t seen her.

“Lizzie.”

She had barely walked two steps when she heard her name. It was _his_ deep, robotic voice.

Lizzie mustered all the patience she could in that moment and lifted her head to look at Darcy, who was currently holding a half-full glass of something she hadn’t been bothered to know.

“Yes?”

 _Do you have a stick up your ass all the time?_ , her question unsaid after seeing his stiff, formal posture.

“Huh... What do you think of Bing’s party?,” his blue eyes searching hers.

_Why are you making small talk with her? You hate small talk. Almost as much as she looks stunning in that dress— stop that thought right now. Get a grip on yourself. This is getting ridiculous._

She wondered why was he asking her that. There had to be some type of impending criticism, regardless of her answer. Why wasn’t he talking to Caroline or someone else?

“Well, not what I was expecting, but I’m enjoying it.”

“What were your expectations?” He couldn’t help pursuing this awkward conversation with the woman in front of him. He was torn between wanting to flee and remaining in the same spot. His stomach involuntarily clenched. He tried to ignore it.

_Seriously, dude? Why won’t you leave me alone._

“I was expecting something more simple, I guess,” her gaze drifting away towards the the centre of the party, “but I am by no means criticising Bing. Everything seems very sophisticated.”

“Bing and Caroline are more of a social nature. They take pleasure in a good party.”

_And of course, stuck-up, rude William Darcy doesn’t. Even if it’s his friend’s._

He went on, looking away as well, “Personally I’m not overly fond of parties. My energy drains after a relatively short period of time.”

“Well, I don’t think everyone is 100% energetic the whole time, but there’s a reason why they happen don’t you think?” she wanted to see what he would say next.

“I do not possess the talent of conversing easily with everyone,” his eyes resting on her face again.

“Have you ever heard about the saying ‘practice makes perfect’?”

“Most of time I find small talk exceedingly boring.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, but Darcy didn’t notice, focused on what he was about to say.

“It’s just a way of masking yourself in front of other people and pretending you are very interested in what they are saying when in fact you are not. Often I find it an hypocritical game,” he concluded, recalling the many unpleasant social events he was required to attend, given his social and professional status.  

Lizzie could have almost agreed with what he had said, had it been worded in a less arrogant, haughty manner. She didn’t understand how he could make such a generalising statement. But then again, he was Mr. Nothing-is-ever-good-enough-for-me Darcy.


	11. Upside Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A more introspective than usual Caroline Lee travels to New York to visit her brother Bing and ends up having a conversation with Jane Bennet.

Caroline Lee knew that sooner or later she would have to have [a conversation with her brother](http://www.lizziebennet.com/2013/03/come-visit-soon/), and that’s why she was now in New York. But before now she had taken a break from everything. Not that she was a woman did that often, but her world had been turned upside down and perhaps she needed it.

Looking out from the window of her elegant hotel room, the Friday sky already dark, she recalled how that conversation from several weeks ago with Lizzie Bennet had seriously taken her aback. When she had watched the video she had cringed at her pathetic behaviour. Being rash had never been her modus operandi. She prouded herself on her emotional control and strategic nature, and that had been cringe-worthy. Even if they didn’t believe her, she truly cared about Bing’s well-being.

Emotions and feelings were fickle, mutable and never truly reliable. Ambition and practicality were so important. How come no one understood that? You can be idealistic all you want, but at the end of the day...

She smirked when she remembered the jump cut.

Surely her audience had noticed it too.

That jump cut where Lizzie Bennet had proudly told her that if she had any kind of feelings towards Darcy, no one (much less she) had anything to do with them. Caroline had wanted to laugh. But Lizzie had only included the part where she had lost no time in pointing out that a relationship between Lizzie Bennet and William Darcy would be disastrous. They came from completely different worlds. And soon, she inwardly added, whatever passion existed, would fade away.

Nothing kills love like everyday life.

She had seen it.

She walked from one window to the other, admiring the lights outside. Signs of the city that never sleeps. Her introspective mood persisted.

Caroline wasn’t blind. She knew that Darcy had always been a handsome men (since Bing had introduced him to her back when both men were attending Harvard) and she had a certain level of compatibility with him. A few common interests, snarky private jokes shared, same demanding outlook on life. Of course his money and social status didn’t hurt at all either. She knew that Darcy was a reserved, private man, but she believed that with time things would naturally follow their path. Everything made sense. Everything added up.

Until an unforeseen variable entered the equation.

_Lizzie Bennet._

Now she found herself wondering whether she had ever really felt something for William Darcy.

Had she? Or had she convinced herself that she did?

She didn’t know anymore.

Caroline had never felt the so-called spark towards Darcy. _The spark_ is something that several people like to speak about a lot. People like her brother. A poetic outlook on life was naïve for the most part, she believed. For her, poetry was only good when read. To be true, she had never even been that much of a poetry admirer. Something in which she and Darcy differed, curiously enough. As they did in other things, she later found out.

Once he had truly noticed Lizzie, there had been no going back. She could have sworn to have seen hints of his inner struggle, especially during that month at Netherfield where all of them have lived under the same roof. His gaze became more focused and intense during his discussions with Lizzie. But, despite all her efforts, it had all been in vain.

She had believed for a certain amount of time that she felt hurt. Until the day she realised that the part of herself that had been hurt the most had really been her pride.

She let her mind wander a little more.

Truly falling in love with someone was scary. Like jumping off a cliff without knowing if there was going to be a net to cushion your fall or tearing your heart out of your chest and not knowing if the person you were giving it to was going to treasure it or make it bleed it with piercing words or simply ignore it.

She shuddered herself out of that train of thought and went looking for her golden high-heeled shoes. She had a dinner to attend after all.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, hi, Caroline. It’s good to see you,” greeted Jane, ushering the other woman in. “I’m sorry Bing isn’t here yet, but he’s been busy working on some things of his non-profit since morning, but I believe he’ll be back soon.” She closed the door.

“It’s okay. I can wait.” Caroline felt an unusual hesitation invading her limbs. She didn’t like it.

“Come on in. We can go to the kitchen.”

Jane was already nearing the coffee maker, while Caroline was about to sit down. She pushed back the thought of how she didn’t appreciate those cushions attached to the chairs with those little bows. If they were already cushioned that would be a whole different matter.

Jane seemed to having asked her something now, but she hadn’t quite caught it.

“Excuse me?”

“I was asking if you’d like to have that coffee I had promised you a while ago with the beans from Porto Rico.

“Oh, I would like that, thank you.”

Only the sounds of Jane preparing the hot beverages, coffee for Caroline and orange blossom tea for her, were now being heard. Although the atmosphere was of politeness, it seemed as if they were somehow walking on eggshells since Caroline had walked in.

A few minutes later both women were quietly sipping on their mugs.

“This coffee is good.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

What felt like long wordless seconds followed.

Caroline was the first one to break the silence.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Caroline’s finger moved along the rim of her mug.

“What?” Jane quietly put down her tea and lifted her eyes to look at her boyfriend’s sister.

“Why are you doing this? The smiling, the politeness...” she pointed towards Jane and the coffee. “You should hate me for everything.”

“Would you rather have me hating you?” Jane quirked one eyebrow.

Caroline Lee did not expect that Jane Bennet to bounce back with that question.

A few seconds seemed to suffice for the red-headed woman to reply.

“Look, Caroline, I will be honest with you. Was I hurt by what you did to me and your brother? Yes. Was I angry at what you did to Lizzie? Yes. Was I disappointed by the remarks you made about my family? Yes. Will I let the rest of my life be shadowed by all of that? No. I can’t always let myself be consumed by such negative feelings... Otherwise I can’t live.”

Caroline found herself satisfied with Jane’s honesty though she said nothing about it.

“I... I want to believe that there’s a reason why you’re here, Caroline. And I hope it is to patch up your relationship with your brother. You probably don’t believe it, but your brother misses you.” she sighed, drinking a little more of her tea. “He wants to understand why you did what you did. He wants to have a conversation face to face and not just knowing what his sister thinks about him from watching someone else’s videos.”

“I-I’ve missed him too. We’re very different, but he’s my brother.”

“Exactly. Bing wants to show you that there’s more to him than what his sister believes. He wants his sister to see that the people we love might follow different paths than ours but that the most important thing is that they’re happy and not in pain.”  

Caroline almost lets a smile escape from her lips at the the comfort that this warm mug of delicious coffee gives her, letting Jane Bennet’s words settle down a little. She could feel that Jane was hinting at other things besides Bing.

“You know when you feel like your world is crumbling down? That’s how I feel right now. You grow up believing in a certain order of things because it makes sense and then...”

Jane was surprised at this woman’s sudden yet subtle display of vulnerability, but she knew that the best course of action was precisely not to focus on that. This was Caroline Lee, after all, and she knew her a little.

“Then I think you will build it again. Different things can be built with the same stones.”

“I will,” her look determined, “do not doubt it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was an interesting challenge to write more from Caroline's point of view and trying to imagine a conversation between her and Jane.


	12. She left her heart in San Francisco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie is irrevocably affected by that month spent in San Francisco. Especially her feelings regarding a certain bow-tie wearing CEO.

How many days of our lives do we truly remember? Most of them are unremarkable, easily forgettable. Often it is only certain moments that we can recall, forever burned in our minds. We carry those good and bad memories with us everywhere, and they haunt us when we less expect. Lizzie couldn’t have predicted how that month in San Francisco spent shadowing Pemberley Digital would transform her life.

 

* * *

 

Lizzie doesn’t want to overanalyse things. She’s trying to avoid worrying so much, but she can’t help but thinking about things. Especially about a certain bow tie-wearing CEO.

 

* * *

 

After the letter (which she had brought with her to San Francisco), she went through a long period of introspection. Lizzie wasn’t exaggerating when she said what she said in her video. She felt as if she didn’t know herself anymore. She felt ashamed and humbled. Lizzie Bennet had accused William Darcy of arrogance and pride, but the truth is that she had also prided herself on her judging abilities. She had been blinded by a certain kind of vanity and she was embarrassed by that fact.

Every time she read that letter, a new wave of feelings swallowed her. At first she had felt angry, then disbelief took over, but eventually she reached the conclusion that the man who had written that letter had no reasons to come up with all of that. Why would he bring his sister into all of this? He even told her that if she wanted she could talk with Fitz about the subject, and he would confirm a lot of what had passed. She felt his implicit trust in her. Even after everything she had told him in his face (and on her videos).

About the other subjects (namely Jane and Bing)... Well... At least she had to give some credit to his honesty.

Knowing a new perspective made her see better how flawed George’s story had been, all the holes in his convoluted plot she hadn’t noticed before, how his (false) modesty had been part of a mask used to manipulate not just her, but also her viewers. She felt disgusted and stupid. Of course he hadn’t showed up at Bing’s birthday party. It wouldn’t be convenient to meet Darcy in enemy’s territory (or friend of his enemy). It was clearer too why Darcy couldn’t stand to be in the same place as George Wickham, as exemplified by what she had called then the Darcy Wickham drama at Carter’s last September.

Now she also wondered about the timing of his appearances. Had it been a coincidence that he had come back right after she had fallen out with Charlotte over  Ricky’s job proposal? She had been more vulnerable and his deceptive charm held her hostage for some time. Fortunately no harm had been done at the end. He wasn’t really the type of guy who usually attracted her. Not that he wasn’t good-looking (because she obviously thought he was), but she needed more than that.

It had been highly satisfying to practically tell him in his face in December that Lizzie Bennet was now immune to his manipulative charm. She still recalled the split second of alarm in his eyes when she had said that she could see some of Darcy’s virtues now that she knew him a little better.

 

* * *

 

During all those weeks in November and December, her hate for Darcy slowly started fading away. It was impossible for her to hate him anymore. Certainly he had flaws, but he wasn’t the horrible man she had once believed him to be. By the time she first entered the headquarters of Pemberley Digital she considered herself to be fairly neutral about Darcy.

She felt a huge amount of embarrassment, shame and awkwardness (she had said so in one of her videos), but hate was something of the past. She isn’t sure when other feelings, much more pleasant than those she had nourished before, started to take over that neutrality. She doesn’t want to think too much about them for fear of falling into the black hole of overanalysis. Lizzie would never admit to anyone, but she can no longer help the fluttering in her stomach whenever she sees him.

Now Lizzie was knowing a William Darcy she had barely seen or cared about before. She had to admit that she had subrrepticiously admired his tall, quietly confident (without traces of arrogance, she noted) presence in a conference room while talking about a couple of Pemberley Digital’s new projects. It was impossible not to. He was reserved as usual and not overly expansive, but now she recognised the passion brimming under the surface. This was a young man, not even 30 yet, she thought, with so much responsibility on his shoulders, but he didn’t shy away from it.

During those meetings she usually observed and listened more than she actually spoke, taking notes for her independent study. But she appreciated the effort of the team in asking her her opinion on whatever was being discussed, and although slightly intimidated, she was happy to give it. While she talked she found it easier to focus on anyone else but Darcy, who always seemed very interested in what she had to say. She chalked her diffidence up to him being the CEO, but deep down she was aware that that wasn’t probably the only reason.

One time, after he had commented on her own “pertinent observations", his gaze locked on hers for a couple of seconds. Had it only been couple of seconds? It had seemed to her that much more time had passed. She could feel her stomach giving somersaults.

One part of her wanted to get up and leave that room as fast as she could and seek refuge in the office that had been assigned to her.

But the other would rather keep staring at that man and his sartorial elegance in that freaking tie and waistcoat combo. A stupid, fleeting thought made her long for his eyes closed, the feel of his lips on hers, and her hands running through his dark hair.

_What?!_

 

* * *

 

Once she had been walking down the hallway when she happened to pass by one of the conference rooms with glass walls, so everyone could watch what was happening inside as long as the blinds weren’t covering them. She noticed half-filled glasses on the table, a sign that a reunion had taken place there. A man was working there, hunched over his laptop, his hair slightly rumpled.

_Darcy._

He happened to lift his head on that very same moment and his eyes caught hers. She could notice he was slightly surprised by her presence there outside the room. Lizzie smiled. He nodded and softly smiled back at her. She felt as if someone had told her a beautiful secret she couldn’t tell anyone.

She wondered how it was like to see him openly smile.

 

* * *

 

In the beginning she hadn’t seen him that often, actually. Pemberley Digital’s headquarters were big enough to not see everyone every day. But she did notice that, with time, they seemed to find each other more often.

In the lounge area.

_“I think you would like to try this herbal tea,” he suggested, pointing towards a blue little box on one of the shelves. “It is very good. Gigi finds it very calming.”_

_“Oh, thank you for the advice, Mr. Darcy,” she smirked. “Maybe I will try it now,” shaking the box with the little tea bags inside._

 

At the entrance, early in the morning or in the afternoon when Darcy didn’t stay late in the office.

_“Is everything alright, Lizzie?” She startled a little, surprised by his sudden appearance at her side._

_“Oh, I didn’t think it would rain today!,” she looked sadly at her definitely not rain-weather shoes._

_“Well, I believe at least I can help you with something.” He walked towards the reception. “Emily, is there an extra umbrella Miss Bennet can borrow?”_

_“How come I hadn’t thought of asking that?,” she remarked as she received the umbrella from his hand, their fingers touching for a moment. “Silly me. Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome.”_

_“See you tomorrow, Darcy.”_

_“See you tomorrow, Lizzie.”_

 

Or that time when she ended up challenging him for the first time to participate in a costume theatre with her. She had definitely been surprised by his attitude. Later when she was revisiting those 10 minutes of her day, she remembered what Lydia – and a pang hit her – had once told her in one of her classic teasing moments.

_“My nerdy, older sis, you’re totally one of those people that gets turned on by nerdtastic moments. Don’t deny it.”_

Lizzie smiled ruefully to herself, missing her younger sister.

 

* * *

 

Going on that San Francisco tour with the Darcy siblings had probably been one of the best decisions she had ever made. It was a wonderful opportunity to know more about the city with someone who had known that area their whole life, but also a chance to see these two in a more informal context. Especially Darcy.

She enjoyed watching the interactions between both siblings, from Gigi’s gentle teasing to her brother’s serious looks that didn’t last for that long. She could genuinely feel how they cared for each other despite their differences. Lizzie missed her sisters too. She wondered how cracked their relationship must have been like right after the incident with George Wickham and how they had mended it together. She thought that there was so much about them that she didn’t know. She couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to lose your parents, especially when you’re so young. How were they before that? Had the Darcy siblings been close back then? So much mystery surrounded them. She would risk to think that at least they probably had felt less burdened by a certain type of melancholy.

Lizzie had also noticed that Gigi sometimes stayed back on purpose and was glued to her phone often. But she quickly stopped worrying about that, because Darcy was on her side, acting like her personal tour guide of the city, eloquently telling her about what he knew about the places they visited, but also trying to add less known tidbits. He was engaging and sometimes she couldn’t help but staring a little at him while he was explaining something and/or fixing his glasses. It hadn’t been the first time she had seen Darcy with them (after all there had been that month at Netherfield where they had lived under the same roof), but now it was different somehow.

She didn’t remember ever seeing Darcy looking so relaxed. Probably the fact that he was wearing less formal clothes also helped. The conversation flowed easily and not much awkwardness threatened them. At one point, she was surprised by his impulse of holding her hand for a few moments because he wanted to show her something of which he had been talking about more closely. It seemed to her that I-like-things-well-ordered Darcy had also been taken aback by his own spontaneity. But then it felt natural. The pleasant buzz that she felt both scared her and thrilled her. _Was he even feeling the same as her_ , she question unasked. After his hand left hers, she had to fight a strange urge to reach for it again.

When Gigi paid attention to their conversations, she was more than happy to contribute with a few anecdotes involving the Darcys and Fitz. Her older brother occasionally interrupted with a few “Gigi!” but often ended up reluctantly smirking at the end of her stories. Lizzie was delighted while hearing those memories.

Lizzie eventually found out that Gigi had been subrrepticiously taking more pictures than what she had been aware of when Darcy asked her sister why she was taking pictures of him and Gigi had blurted out that it wasn’t only of him but also of Lizzie and that she had to document that tour.

 

* * *

 

At the end of that long Saturday, already in bed, tired, and partially drunk with sleep, Lizzie admits to herself that she definitely feels attracted to him. It’s useless trying to deny it. That’s the plain truth. It’s not just because he’s handsome (she had always thought that even when she hated him; she had eyes after all), but she recalled his letter and everything that it contained, and all the times she had seen him at Pemberley, and the way he interacted with his employees and with his sister, and the stories Mrs. Reynolds had told her and today’s tour...

Now she didn’t see much of the arrogance and snobbery he once had proudly displayed. Lizzie found herself captivated by his intelligence, his integrity, his high standards. She had known her fair share of guys who seemed to respect her and then started sighing and looking distracted when she talked about a classic she had recently (re)read or the disparities between women and men’s salaries or when she spontaneously geeked out over her interest in new media and tried to apply Dr. Gardiner’s theories to real life contexts. But Darcy was someone with whom she could discuss these subjects. He respected her. It didn’t feel fake. With how many people can you actually maintain an intellectually stimulating conversation throughout your life?

 _No_ , she corrected herself.

Attraction didn’t seem the right word to define how she felt. It felt too small, too simple. She feared that she was very well on her way to fall...

The last thought before Morpheus took over her was that _maybe she already was_.

 

* * *

 

On that Sunday karaoke night with Gigi, a moment of awkwardness had ensued when Lizzie told the dark-haired girl that she wanted her brother.

“Huh, what?!” Gigi’s eyes sparkled.

“Huh...” she fumbled around a little, “I need him for an interview because of my independent study, remember?”

“Uh uh.”

“If he’s not too busy tomorrow, of course,” she added.

“Oh, yeah, that.” After a few moments of silence she continued. “Are you sure it’s just for that?”

“Gigi! What the hell.”

“You’re sounding like my brother. Apart from the _what the hell_ part, of course.” Lizzie furrowed her eyebrows. “Don’t worry, I will tell my CEO brother about your interview. I’m sure he’ll find some time in his schedule for that,” she winked.

 

* * *

 

After she had rushed to publish that _not-so-corporate_ interview video, she finally had some time to process everything that had happened. Old Lizzie would have been utterly shocked. Present Lizzie was... trying to untangle the jittery mess within her brain.

 

* * *

 

Later that day, Lizzie was in one of the lifts going up when the door opened to reveal none other than the CEO of the company.

_“Oh, hi again!”_

_“Hello, Lizzie. Are you going up or down?”_

_“Huh, I’m going up.”_

_“I need to go to a lower floor. But it’s alright, there is no problem. You were here first.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“So, how are people responding to today’s video?”_

_“Hum... I haven’t paid much attention to that yet, actually. I’ve been busy with other things. But apparently you’ve made a few people laugh with your Gigi and Fitz portrayals.”_

_“Well, it was an awkward performance, I suppose...” he scratched the back of his neck._

_“Oh, no, I don’t say this in a bad way. People genuinely seemed entertained by it. I was, too.” She still remembered how her muscles ached after laughing so much while Darcy emulated Fitz’s mannerisms._

_“I’m glad, then,” he softly smiled and looked at her, his gaze oddly intense. She smiled back at him, her eyes with a teasing spark._

_“Oh, by the way, just a while ago I’ve come across a very interesting article on transmedia. I think you’d like to read it. May I forward it to you by email?”_

_“Oh, yeah, sure! Thank you for thinking of me. “_

_“You’re welcome, Lizzie,” he said, as the doors of the elevator opened. Lizzie walked out, having reached her destination._

_“Well, see you around, Darcy.”_

_“I’ll see you around.”_

The doors closed again and Lizzie stared at them for a few seconds, lost in a trance, when she shook back herself to reality and remembered what she had to do on that floor.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days after he

(nervously, she noticed)

invited her to the theatre.

Surprise became her.

She was ready to say yes.

But then her phone beeped.

And everything changed.

 

* * *

 

She still wonders about what could have happened.

If...


	13. He didn't know she had left her heart in his hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's perspective on that month Lizzie spent in San Francisco shadowing Pemberley Digital (companion to chapter 12 which featured Lizzie's point of view).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, this happened. You might see this as a companion to Lizzie's point of view that I wrote about previously. Here it is Darcy's perspective. I hope you enjoy reading it.

After binge-watching those first sixty videos and delivering his hand-written letter, William Darcy had told himself that he would abstain from watching future videos made by Lizzie. She wanted nothing to do with him and he would respect that. He even told Fitz he did not want to discuss that question anymore and asked him not to mention her videos to him. He would get out of her life. And he did.

But not completely. His video abstinence did not even last a full week.

It was one of those days where he had to stay at the office working until late. Since he had come back from Hunsford, he had busied himself even more than what was usual. Work had always been one of his ways of coping.

Putting his elbows on his desk, William covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. He was tired. He rested his back and head on the comfortable swivel chair he was currently occupying.

A couple of minutes after he turned to look at the magnificent view ahead of him. The lights of San Francisco filled his sight and brought some kind of peace. He was trying not to think of anything in particular when out of the blue an image of Lizzie formed itself in his mind. It was not the first time that this happened. Her words had been playing like a broken record in his head over and over again, sending him into a place of introspection.

Suddenly William reached for his phone and typed “Lizzie Bennet” into the Youtube search bar. So much for self-restraint, he thought. Three new videos. The title of video number 62 immediately caught his attention. _Letter Analysis_. It could only be about his letter. He clicked on the link and waited for the video to load.

 

* * *

 

He knew that she was in San Francisco to shadow his company. He had been informed of it. He had also seen her most recent video in which she explained how hard she had tried to avoid that situation. No wonder, after the events of past October.

He felt relief for being In Los Angeles at the moment, he had to admit. Their last encounter had been filled with overwhelming awkwardness after what he had deemed as one of the stupidest things he had ever done. Also one of the most humbling experiences of his life.

William wondered how things would be like when he flew back to San Francisco. Eventually they would have to meet at Pemberley Digital, not matter how big its headquarters were. He wondered if Lizzie still hated him. After what he had watched, he did not think so, although his judging abilities had been utterly wrong before. She might not want to see him again, but when he recalled some episodes like the one where she analysed his letter or that other when she told his side of the story or more recently her unpleasant encounter with George Wickham, he wanted to believe that she did not hate him anymore. Had she really told Wickham that he had some virtues? He had tried to analyse that costume theatre moment a few times, lingering on the words uttered. He could not control the butterflies in his stomach, filling him with a small hope he immediately crushed. There was no point in nourishing any kind of hope.

 

* * *

 

He should have guessed that Gigi would resort to her antics. Of course she would. And he fell for it. Fitz must have been into her scheme too. Those two...

“You’re not angry with me, are you?” she asked, resorting to her best puppy-like facial expression. The period of time between his leaving Lizzie’s office and Gigi finding him in his office had not been too long.

“I have not decided yet.”

“Oh, come on, William, deep down you know that this had to be done, otherwise you and Lizzie would have spent all these weeks hiding and avoiding each other out of awkwardness and embarrassment. I did it for both of you.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her but his sister knew better.

“Okay, you don’t believe me. I should have let the CEO hide in his office from grad student Lizzie Bennet.”

“I would not have hidden in my office,” he replied, slightly offended.

“Sure. You’ll thank me later, my dorky big brother.”

He said nothing.

 

* * *

 

During the dinner Gigi and William spoke of several subjects, but it was inevitable returning to the events of the afternoon.

Gigi changed from her playful, teasing tone to a more serious one.

“William, I just- I mean, I... I just want you to have another chance. You’ve done so much for me — and please, don’t interrupt me — and I want to see you happy.” She reached across the table for his hand. “I like Lizzie and she deserves a second chance to know what kind of person my brother is... Without all those ridiculous obstacles you put yourself in your own way. Seriously, all the “judging you” memes aren’t enough.”

“I believe I have judged myself enough during this last couple of months.”

“I know. I’ve seen it. And harshly, I might add.”

“Deservingly harsh.”

“And there’s my brother. You know, you infuriate me sometimes, but at the same time I admire you. If you were this harsh with yourself, that’s because Lizzie’s words really affected you and made you take a good look at your priorities. I like her even more because of it. “

 

* * *

 

William does not want to overanalyse things. Sometimes he cannot help it though. There was a painful amount of awkwardness during their first (forced) encounter, but he wants to believe that things are slowly getting better.

“For god’s sake, William, Lizzie totally checked you out when you weren’t looking. Wait. Did I just say that? Gross. You’re my brother.”

 

* * *

 

“So...”

“So.”

“We want to congratulate you!” Gigi exclaimed.

“I almost bought you a medal, Darcy.”

“For what?” William kept his eyes on the documents he was trying to read.

“My brother, was that nerdy flirting? I don’t think my eyes and ears were deceiving me.”

“I’m so proud of you, man. You even cracked a few jokes! I think you surprised her.”

“And that finale, Fitz?!” Gigi gently pushed his arm. “So much tension.”

“That was smooth, William Darcy. What were those looks, huh?”

William would never admit this to anyone (even if there was video proof — yes, he had had a moment of weakness and might have paid close attention to it to confirm that he had not been deluding himself), but he could have sworn to have seen Lizzie glancing at his lips right after he had unconsciously looked at hers. He had really wanted to kiss her right then. Oh, he had wanted to. But no matter what his desires were, he knew it was not the right moment. He would never dare do that unless he was certain of her feelings.

William lifted his eyes to look at his sister and his friend and asked them in an even voice tone, “Don’t you have work to do? And I do not mean your adventures in matchmaking land.”

“I think your brother is deflecting us, Gigi D.”

 

* * *

 

It has become more difficult for William to concentrate during meetings. Especially if Lizzie Bennet is among the people present in the conference room. He makes an effort to behave in the most natural way he can. As the CEO, he has an image and reputation to keep, but occasionally he sees her, out of the corner of his eye, benting over her notebook, lightly biting the top of her ballpoint pen and then taking some notes.

As with every intern or any person in a similar position in Pemberley Digital, she was encouraged to express her thoughts. When Lizzie spoke, he was enticed by her intelligence, her thoughtful analysis and her sparkling wit.

He recalls a particular moment, after he had complimented her, in which they ended up exchanging a longer look than usual. During those seconds there seemed to have been something different, intense in her eyes, although he could not quite define what with certainty.

 

* * *

 

There have been a certain amount of _hellos_ and _good mornings_ and _see you tomorrows_ , but that did not necessarily mean anything. He does not have the right to hope for anything beyond a cordial, friendly relationship. All he can do is keep trying to be a better person, because that is the right thing to do.

In spite of this, he was aware that they had been find each other more often and she did not seem to find his presence unwelcome. They had occasionally engaged in witty conversation and it delighted him, leaving him wanting for more. In other situations, their encounters were filled with a wordless beauty instead. Like that time she found him still working in one of Pemberley’s conference rooms after a meeting and only shared small smiles while she was passing by.

 

* * *

 

At first he had not agreed with Gigi’s plan of them taking Lizzie on a tour of San Francisco. Well, not that he disagreed _per se_ but he was afraid of making Lizzie uncomfortable. Perhaps she did not want to spend more time with him in an informal context. But then Gigi got Lizzie to accept the invitation.

When Gigi saw him in that Saturday January morning, she chuckled.

“Is something wrong, Gigi?”

“Uh, what? No, no, not at all. It’s just... your look.”

“What look?” He looks down at his outfit. “Is there something wrong with it?”

“No, really. I just wonder about how a certain person might react to it, you know...”

“But Lizzie has already seen me using less formal attire.”

“The glasses too?”

“Occasionally at Netherfield.”

“But she has never seen you with that leather jacket, has she?”

“Hum... We were in the middle of the summer so I guess not.”

“Hum hum.”

He quickly assumed tour guiding functions. It was a way of keeping him focused and dispelling some of his lingering anxiety, and he enjoyed the idea of showing his city to Lizzie through his eyes. Gigi, for some reason more preoccupied with her own phone, sometimes contributed with some remarks, mostly related to amusing or embarrassing past experiences. With Lizzie’s presence, Gigi felt more at ease and safer to tease her older brother too.

There were a couple of times where he noticed (with the aid of his peripheral vision) Lizzie looking at him while he was explaining something. He tried not to let that affect him and pretended he had not seen it.

At one point of the tour he surprised himself by impulsively grabbing and holding her hand. He had been so in the moment, eager to show her a particular spot he had been talking about, that he forgot about his self-consciousness and it just... happened. For long seconds the powerful effect of that simple gesture both scared and thrilled him. William wondered whether they were sharing the same sensations. He wanted to ask her so badly as if with the simple power of his mind he could do it. Then he reluctantly and gently disengaged his hand from hers, already aching from the lack of touch.

Ah, so that was why Gigi had been so attached to her phone. Of course she had been taking photos. She had back quieter than usual, now that he thought of it. He quirked her eyebrow at her while she took another picture of him and Lizzie, his smirk telling her he had an inkling of what she was doing.

 

* * *

 

William left her office with an afro wig in his hand and with more hope in his mind that he had ever had before. He would have pinched himself if it were not such a ridiculous thing to do. He walked across hallways and ascended flights of stairs, having no patience to wait for a lift. His brain was working way too fast and that reflected itself on his need to move around. He ran his free hand through his hair once or twice, quickly recapping what had just happened, jumping from one moment to the next.

Later that day, Darcy was waiting for one of the lifts when the doors opened to reveal none other than Lizzie Bennet.

_“Oh, hi again!”_

(Lizzie.)

_“Hello, Lizzie. Are you going up or down?”_

_“Huh, I’m going up.”_

_“I need to go to a lower floor. But it’s alright, there is no problem. You were here first.”_

(And it’s also a chance to spend a few more minutes with you.)

_“Okay.”_

(He needed to come up with a subject of conversation now.)

_“So, how are people responding to today’s video?”_

_“Hum... I haven’t paid much attention to that yet, actually. I’ve busy with other things. But apparently you’ve made a few people laugh with your Gigi and Fitz portrayals.”_

_“Well, it was an awkward performance, I suppose...” he scratched the back of his neck._

(He thought of his not being at ease at all while trying to impersonate Gigi.)

_“Oh, no, I don’t say this in a bad way. People genuinely seemed entertained by it. I was, too.” She still remembered how her muscles ached after laughing so much while Darcy emulated Fitz’s mannerisms._

(Oh.)

(It was worth it making a fool of myself if that made you laugh. Was it the first time I was the reason of your genuine, warming laughter? I ardently wish it were not the last one.)

_“I’m glad, then,” he softly smiled and looked at her, his gaze oddly intense._

(She looks beautiful in that dress.)

_She smiled back at him, her eyes with a teasing spark._

(Why did you touch my shoulder when you did not need to? I’m afraid that the camera might have caught more of my reaction than I intended to.)

_“Oh, by the way, just a while ago I’ve come across a very interesting article on transmedia. I think you would like to read it. May I forward it to you by email?”_

_“Oh, yeah, sure! Thank you for thinking of me. “_

(Don’t thank me for that, please.)

(Thinking of you is something I don’t know how to live without anymore, Lizzie.)

(I wish I could just cross over this distance between us and show you _how much_ I think of you. No words would be necessary to communicate.)

_“You’re welcome, Lizzie,” he said, as the doors of the elevator opened. Lizzie walked out, having reached her destination._

_“Well, see you around, Darcy.”_

_“I’ll see you around.”_

(Can I dare to hope?)

The doors closed again and the lift went down. William looked at nothing in particular, his gaze unfocused. The light in her eyes still blinded him. He had to risk again. He had to. No matter how much it scared him. If he feared it, that was because it was important.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days after he nervously invited her to the theatre.

He had not told her, but they would be seeing a Tolstoy play.

He cringed inwardly at the pathetic, awkward way he had done it.

He could see that he had surprised her.

He was on tenterhooks waiting for her answer.

Was she going to say yes?

Seconds went by.

She is taking too long.

She is going to refuse.

Then her phone beeped.

And everything changed.

William was torn between wanting to punch Wickham in the face and pulling Lizzie into his embrace.

It had been completely spontaneous his gesture of caressing her shoulder and back. He was too accustomed to balance carefully every step he took. When he felt too much and had difficulty in dealing with it, self-control was a very powerful weapon. But seeing Lizzie distressed and in pain affected him. He knew that it was useless, but he just wanted to provide a source of comfort for her.

He could not just stay there inactive. He had to do something. William Darcy was still with Lizzie when he made the resolution of going after George Wickham. That site had to be taken down. He could not believe that that man had stooped even lower. And to think that once he had called him a friend. Wickham was clearly seeking to get revenge. Once again he was using a young woman, taking advantage of her to get at someone else. Disgusting. Once it had been him, now it was Lizzie. But obviously Wickham had to know that by hurting Lizzie he was also hurting him. For George Wickham, William Darcy was the villain of his story and he had to destroy him. Despite that, Wickham would not succeed. William would make sure of that.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, you didn’t need to be here waiting for me at the entrance of the building.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“You are very welcome, Lizzie,” he composedly yet warmly told her. Darcy and Lizzie walk in direction of the car that will take her to the airport.

“Lizzie?”

“Yes?”

“I would like to give you my phone number,” he takes a small card from his dark jeans’ pocket and gives it to her. “In case you need anything, please do not hesitate to call me,” he gaze unwavering. “I mean it.”

“O-okay. So, this is goodbye, I guess.”

“I suppose so. Take care, Lizzie.”

“You too.”

William stood in the sidewalk for some time, seeing the car becoming smaller and smaller until it disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experiment of mine and let's see if it works out. I apologise for any mistakes. I'm new to this world so feedback (like comments) would be lovely. Thank you for reading this.


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